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General Parenting
Am I A Bad Dad?
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<blockquote data-quote="Jabberwockey" data-source="post: 731155" data-attributes="member: 18238"><p>First off, I have to call bullshit here. Family and friends are the worst when it comes to giving advice on things they have NO idea about. I love my son dearly but there have been MANY times since his issues started that I didn't like him much and I told him so.</p><p></p><p>To answer your initial question, that depends. From what you've said, you've been putting out effort to help here and to maintain a relationship with her. Based on that, no, you're not a bad dad. We are parents, not super beings with all the answers and complete control over our children. We do the best we can and sometimes it just doesn't work out. Our son had SO many advantages but he could never see beyond what OTHERS had. So and so's mom and dad let them stay out all night. So and so's parents give him a $100 a week allowance. Granted, he missed the details that in the first situation, the parents were just bad parents and in the second, the kid worked at the cleaning business that the parents owned. But as most of our difficult children tend to do, he only saw what he wanted to see.</p><p></p><p>Your problem is that, depending on where you live, your daughter is still your legal responsibility. That can cause you a lot of grief. She is your daughter though, and may well be a thorn in your side for a long time to come but how you deal with it is up to you. Once she becomes legally an adult, if she isn't already, it may make it easier on you. At that point her life is hers to screw up as she sees fit. In the mean time, seek counseling. You need to talk to someone face to face to get advice. This board is great and has been a life saver for my wife and I but to keep the anonymity, you don't give enough details for people to be completely accurate with their advice. Then there is the fact that WE ARENT PROFESSIONALS!!!! We give the best advice we can based on what you've said and what we know but even professionals aren't infallible.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jabberwockey, post: 731155, member: 18238"] First off, I have to call bullshit here. Family and friends are the worst when it comes to giving advice on things they have NO idea about. I love my son dearly but there have been MANY times since his issues started that I didn't like him much and I told him so. To answer your initial question, that depends. From what you've said, you've been putting out effort to help here and to maintain a relationship with her. Based on that, no, you're not a bad dad. We are parents, not super beings with all the answers and complete control over our children. We do the best we can and sometimes it just doesn't work out. Our son had SO many advantages but he could never see beyond what OTHERS had. So and so's mom and dad let them stay out all night. So and so's parents give him a $100 a week allowance. Granted, he missed the details that in the first situation, the parents were just bad parents and in the second, the kid worked at the cleaning business that the parents owned. But as most of our difficult children tend to do, he only saw what he wanted to see. Your problem is that, depending on where you live, your daughter is still your legal responsibility. That can cause you a lot of grief. She is your daughter though, and may well be a thorn in your side for a long time to come but how you deal with it is up to you. Once she becomes legally an adult, if she isn't already, it may make it easier on you. At that point her life is hers to screw up as she sees fit. In the mean time, seek counseling. You need to talk to someone face to face to get advice. This board is great and has been a life saver for my wife and I but to keep the anonymity, you don't give enough details for people to be completely accurate with their advice. Then there is the fact that WE ARENT PROFESSIONALS!!!! We give the best advice we can based on what you've said and what we know but even professionals aren't infallible. [/QUOTE]
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