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Am I a failure?
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<blockquote data-quote="Ropefree" data-source="post: 249792" data-attributes="member: 6271"><p>tlj34: I think any parent of a child who is acting in any manner that is unnerving to a parent wears the adult down to a fizzy remnant of that former being that seemed to be who one WAS? We all think going into being a parent that we will be able to manage why we have so much love to give! Then we find that inside the crusty core of the bone weary being that has taken over the interior of our fleash dwells MOMMY MONSTER! She has no ideas she is angery and messy and has no energy anywhere in any of her circuits. She doubts her own ability, her sanity, her will to go on.</p><p>What ever you are planning for your daughters education it might be a very good idea to try to find someone who can be a mothers helper or who is qualified to care for you girl for some amount of time on a regular basis. You need to have others not just you who are able and do watch her and care for her so you can recharge.</p><p>It is impossible to learn and think and create on full overwhelm. and it happens under far less extreme stress than what you are describing.</p><p>I am not an expert. And when children or adult what is the worst feeling for anyone is to be out of control. Perhaps some of her anxiety is that she feels she needs you and she does feel aware of how difficult things are becoming for her as she has more she can do. If you could find another regular person that she began to feel was also consistent in her life she would learn to transition to others more easily as she enters school and other types of relationships.</p><p>For me with my son, who is not as complicated or extreme, but by no means a walk in the park, the first time I had the oppertunity to say out loud 'what I need is someone to just watch my boy for less than one hour a couple time a day so I can take a walk and get a break" up popped the first help I did get. </p><p>Also I always suggest massage and hot tubs for stress for children and adults. relaxation is learned behavior.</p><p>And our children are sensitive to how we are feeling. So take that breath out load and consciously relax and speak as sincerely and soothingly for your own comfort and also with her. Remember your voice will be internalized in your children. use your beautiful woman loving mother voice as much as you can. It will help keep you both feeling loved and lovingly.</p><p>When calming a child I use a humming tone that conveys that care and direction towards calm.</p><p>Cuddle up and calm down. Soft touch on a hand or face or brow.</p><p>Some kids hate it, I quess. But I have not once had these utterly fail me.</p><p>You are a worried overworked mother. Tired, yes, failing...oh no.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ropefree, post: 249792, member: 6271"] tlj34: I think any parent of a child who is acting in any manner that is unnerving to a parent wears the adult down to a fizzy remnant of that former being that seemed to be who one WAS? We all think going into being a parent that we will be able to manage why we have so much love to give! Then we find that inside the crusty core of the bone weary being that has taken over the interior of our fleash dwells MOMMY MONSTER! She has no ideas she is angery and messy and has no energy anywhere in any of her circuits. She doubts her own ability, her sanity, her will to go on. What ever you are planning for your daughters education it might be a very good idea to try to find someone who can be a mothers helper or who is qualified to care for you girl for some amount of time on a regular basis. You need to have others not just you who are able and do watch her and care for her so you can recharge. It is impossible to learn and think and create on full overwhelm. and it happens under far less extreme stress than what you are describing. I am not an expert. And when children or adult what is the worst feeling for anyone is to be out of control. Perhaps some of her anxiety is that she feels she needs you and she does feel aware of how difficult things are becoming for her as she has more she can do. If you could find another regular person that she began to feel was also consistent in her life she would learn to transition to others more easily as she enters school and other types of relationships. For me with my son, who is not as complicated or extreme, but by no means a walk in the park, the first time I had the oppertunity to say out loud 'what I need is someone to just watch my boy for less than one hour a couple time a day so I can take a walk and get a break" up popped the first help I did get. Also I always suggest massage and hot tubs for stress for children and adults. relaxation is learned behavior. And our children are sensitive to how we are feeling. So take that breath out load and consciously relax and speak as sincerely and soothingly for your own comfort and also with her. Remember your voice will be internalized in your children. use your beautiful woman loving mother voice as much as you can. It will help keep you both feeling loved and lovingly. When calming a child I use a humming tone that conveys that care and direction towards calm. Cuddle up and calm down. Soft touch on a hand or face or brow. Some kids hate it, I quess. But I have not once had these utterly fail me. You are a worried overworked mother. Tired, yes, failing...oh no. [/QUOTE]
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