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Am I doing the right thing or is this just more enabling?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 672158" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Hi Sherrill,</p><p></p><p>I agree that nobody can make the decision except you.</p><p></p><p>I think the thing we struggle with so mightily is this: Who is responsible?</p><p></p><p>I have only begun to "get it." I am not responsible anymore. My son is. I have no role in it.</p><p></p><p>It is none of my business whether he "gets it" or not. It is only his business.</p><p></p><p>After 20 years in prison, your son may have "got it." I hope that this is not put to the test. But whether or not you intervene, to secure 2 years, or 5 years or 15 years will matter not at all. His getting it may or may not have to do with time. It has everything to do with him.</p><p></p><p>His life is between him and himself. Not you. He is responsible. In all of the ramifications of the word.</p><p></p><p>Only pay for the attorney if you understand that you are doing so for you, not for him or any specific result.</p><p></p><p>I am so sorry you have been foisted into this position: with the idea you can have control, that you are responsible, that any of this at all has to do with you. It does not.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 672158, member: 18958"] Hi Sherrill, I agree that nobody can make the decision except you. I think the thing we struggle with so mightily is this: Who is responsible? I have only begun to "get it." I am not responsible anymore. My son is. I have no role in it. It is none of my business whether he "gets it" or not. It is only his business. After 20 years in prison, your son may have "got it." I hope that this is not put to the test. But whether or not you intervene, to secure 2 years, or 5 years or 15 years will matter not at all. His getting it may or may not have to do with time. It has everything to do with him. His life is between him and himself. Not you. He is responsible. In all of the ramifications of the word. Only pay for the attorney if you understand that you are doing so for you, not for him or any specific result. I am so sorry you have been foisted into this position: with the idea you can have control, that you are responsible, that any of this at all has to do with you. It does not. COPA [/QUOTE]
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Am I doing the right thing or is this just more enabling?
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