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Am I enabling??
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 704494" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>This is really good advice for all of us. It is so helpful to remember that it is OK to wait to respond to anything.."let me process this a little" or "let me ponder that a bit" are great answers to requests...then do it! Make a habit of waiting 24 hours before committing to anything. I totally agree that our Difficult Child's are wired for drama, and the immediate hit of "demand and get gratification" We don't have to participate in that. Make a habit of waiting.</p><p></p><p>Also, the idea of discussing the request with others, lots of others, is brilliant. Once I was in a very toxic relationship and I was constantly drawn into the high drama of my partner. My therapist at the time said to identify three trusted friends...my wingwomen...and to tell them about every contact I had with Mr. Toxic. It was very helpful. We make bad decisions in the dark, in secret. Letting things out in the light and air has got to be a good thing, even if it feels awkward at first.</p><p></p><p>My two cents!</p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 704494, member: 17269"] This is really good advice for all of us. It is so helpful to remember that it is OK to wait to respond to anything.."let me process this a little" or "let me ponder that a bit" are great answers to requests...then do it! Make a habit of waiting 24 hours before committing to anything. I totally agree that our Difficult Child's are wired for drama, and the immediate hit of "demand and get gratification" We don't have to participate in that. Make a habit of waiting. Also, the idea of discussing the request with others, lots of others, is brilliant. Once I was in a very toxic relationship and I was constantly drawn into the high drama of my partner. My therapist at the time said to identify three trusted friends...my wingwomen...and to tell them about every contact I had with Mr. Toxic. It was very helpful. We make bad decisions in the dark, in secret. Letting things out in the light and air has got to be a good thing, even if it feels awkward at first. My two cents! Echo [/QUOTE]
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