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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 704548" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>My main thought (s) here is you should never lie to your husband. I think you should tell him. If nothing else, I hope you would consider stopping the lying from this point forward.</p><p></p><p>I would settle on a number a little higher than you were doing originally, but that's it. Maybe $80 a month? (max) Just a guess. The only possible exception would be if you know for an absolute fact that he needs money for medication and possibly a <u><strong>little</strong></u> extra for his birthday and Christmas.</p><p></p><p>But an exception is just that...a RARITY. Birthday and Christmas (or whatever). Confirmed need for medication. That's it. Those are THREE situations that you might be willing to go higher than your agreed upon monthly allowance. I wouldn't budge from something along these lines. Stick to an agreed upon monthly allowance and a<u><strong> little</strong></u> extra for some rare instances...and that's it!</p><p></p><p>He has to learn how to make due, he has to learn that he is NOT entitled, he has to learn to appreciate your generosity, he has to learn that you are a woman of your word, he has to learn that you are NOT willing to lie for him.</p><p></p><p>He might (hopefully) grow a little with these restrictions placed upon him in a firm manner. They are fair, generous, kind.....but steadfast and important. Set kind boundaries. He needs to learn to live within boundaries! He's 45. Yes, past due. He absolutely needs to learn to live within boundaries</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 704548, member: 4152"] My main thought (s) here is you should never lie to your husband. I think you should tell him. If nothing else, I hope you would consider stopping the lying from this point forward. I would settle on a number a little higher than you were doing originally, but that's it. Maybe $80 a month? (max) Just a guess. The only possible exception would be if you know for an absolute fact that he needs money for medication and possibly a [U][B]little[/B][/U] extra for his birthday and Christmas. But an exception is just that...a RARITY. Birthday and Christmas (or whatever). Confirmed need for medication. That's it. Those are THREE situations that you might be willing to go higher than your agreed upon monthly allowance. I wouldn't budge from something along these lines. Stick to an agreed upon monthly allowance and a[U][B] little[/B][/U] extra for some rare instances...and that's it! He has to learn how to make due, he has to learn that he is NOT entitled, he has to learn to appreciate your generosity, he has to learn that you are a woman of your word, he has to learn that you are NOT willing to lie for him. He might (hopefully) grow a little with these restrictions placed upon him in a firm manner. They are fair, generous, kind.....but steadfast and important. Set kind boundaries. He needs to learn to live within boundaries! He's 45. Yes, past due. He absolutely needs to learn to live within boundaries [/QUOTE]
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