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Parent Emeritus
Am I hitching a free ride?
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 648745" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Hopeandjoy, you have no control over the choices of another, your step son OR his mother. She is choosing to enable her son. Enablers are generally people who cannot say no and have a great deal of resentment and anger so it all makes sense that his mom does <em>everything </em>and then when it all falls apart begins blaming and accusing. It's a cycle. I was in that cycle for a long time so I know it well. The step mom is the only one who can change that pattern and you said she said, she will not allow him to be homeless. So be it. We all make choices, we all have to live with the choices. As long as you and your husband have your boundaries intact, you're doing all you can do. My suggestion is to enjoy your time and stop the guilt. There is NO reason whatsoever you need to feel any guilt, you aren't making any choices, your step son and his mother are. They have their own destiny, you have yours. Enjoy yours and let the rest go.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 648745, member: 13542"] Hopeandjoy, you have no control over the choices of another, your step son OR his mother. She is choosing to enable her son. Enablers are generally people who cannot say no and have a great deal of resentment and anger so it all makes sense that his mom does [I]everything [/I]and then when it all falls apart begins blaming and accusing. It's a cycle. I was in that cycle for a long time so I know it well. The step mom is the only one who can change that pattern and you said she said, she will not allow him to be homeless. So be it. We all make choices, we all have to live with the choices. As long as you and your husband have your boundaries intact, you're doing all you can do. My suggestion is to enjoy your time and stop the guilt. There is NO reason whatsoever you need to feel any guilt, you aren't making any choices, your step son and his mother are. They have their own destiny, you have yours. Enjoy yours and let the rest go. [/QUOTE]
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Am I hitching a free ride?
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