Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Am I hitching a free ride?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="hopeandjoy66" data-source="post: 649255" data-attributes="member: 18181"><p>I guess for me and husband we have done a lot of contemplating about this. Who will pay his bills, wash his clothes buy his groceries when husband and EX are no longer around. Why can't he do these things? It is because he can't or just doesn't want to? We had things set up where his bills are being paid and money looked after but then he chooses to start drugs or becomes not medication compliant and he demands control of all his finances once again. The reality is, he really doesn't know what the consequences are if he doesn't do the responsibilities that are day to day living requires. He hasn't had to. I know a few people that are bipolar that lead very responsible lives, but what they do that our difficult child doesn't do is recognizes the signs when his mental state starts to change,or doesn't want to. I think it is the later. It is pointed out to him and suggested that he should see a doctor for a medication check or go and see the psychiatrist, but he refuses to take heed at all. He has never followed up after hospitalization with the out program with counseling. He is even dropped off at these places and then goes in and says he is feeling fine or doesn't speak at all. My goodness, he has to want some of these things for himself but he really doesn't care. To us having him go through the act of learning to be responsible now will hopefully have him learn some very tough lessons before his parents are no longer alive. He has a sister that also believes he needs to take responsibility for his life. I think it would be shameful as parents, that these huge hurdles were left to his sister (who has a family to deal with) just because we(as parents) like how things run smoothly when we take on all his responsibilities. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, because it will be a hell to go through for everyone involved. Isn't it our responsibility as a parent is to make and want our children to be independent as possible. I also believe there is a huge difference between being bipolar and someone who is schizophrenic. My husband has a nephew that is 38 and schizophrenic, you can't even compare these two. I have dealt with depression for the last 20 years and sometimes very severe, but I have learned to deal with it. Recognize the signs when things are changing and get help even if it is the last thing I feel like doing. </p><p>All this of course is just my opinion although my therapist also seems to agree one hundred percent on our evaluation of things.I do believe at times there is a fine line between helping and enabling. We will likely stand true to the boundaries that we have set, although the true test will be the next time the sh t hits the fan and there WILL be a next time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hopeandjoy66, post: 649255, member: 18181"] I guess for me and husband we have done a lot of contemplating about this. Who will pay his bills, wash his clothes buy his groceries when husband and EX are no longer around. Why can't he do these things? It is because he can't or just doesn't want to? We had things set up where his bills are being paid and money looked after but then he chooses to start drugs or becomes not medication compliant and he demands control of all his finances once again. The reality is, he really doesn't know what the consequences are if he doesn't do the responsibilities that are day to day living requires. He hasn't had to. I know a few people that are bipolar that lead very responsible lives, but what they do that our difficult child doesn't do is recognizes the signs when his mental state starts to change,or doesn't want to. I think it is the later. It is pointed out to him and suggested that he should see a doctor for a medication check or go and see the psychiatrist, but he refuses to take heed at all. He has never followed up after hospitalization with the out program with counseling. He is even dropped off at these places and then goes in and says he is feeling fine or doesn't speak at all. My goodness, he has to want some of these things for himself but he really doesn't care. To us having him go through the act of learning to be responsible now will hopefully have him learn some very tough lessons before his parents are no longer alive. He has a sister that also believes he needs to take responsibility for his life. I think it would be shameful as parents, that these huge hurdles were left to his sister (who has a family to deal with) just because we(as parents) like how things run smoothly when we take on all his responsibilities. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, because it will be a hell to go through for everyone involved. Isn't it our responsibility as a parent is to make and want our children to be independent as possible. I also believe there is a huge difference between being bipolar and someone who is schizophrenic. My husband has a nephew that is 38 and schizophrenic, you can't even compare these two. I have dealt with depression for the last 20 years and sometimes very severe, but I have learned to deal with it. Recognize the signs when things are changing and get help even if it is the last thing I feel like doing. All this of course is just my opinion although my therapist also seems to agree one hundred percent on our evaluation of things.I do believe at times there is a fine line between helping and enabling. We will likely stand true to the boundaries that we have set, although the true test will be the next time the sh t hits the fan and there WILL be a next time. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Am I hitching a free ride?
Top