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Am I Losing My Mind? Please Help!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 542879" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>She has had a very unstable early life which can lead to attachment problems. These kids learn not to trust adults and learn to take care of #1. It is a comon problem, but a serious one. You had ambivalent feelings toward her...that matters to a developing child. Also in my opinion three was too young to bring a new honey into her life...you can date without including her in it. in my opinion it is best to do just that. It's confusing to a young child and just one more adult who comes and goes. Another reason not to trust adults and to go into herself, taking care of herself only without being able to care for others.</p><p></p><p>Has she seen you or your ex with other partners a lot, kissing, sleeping in the same room, etc? I don't think young kids should have to deal with their parents lovers...I don't think it's healthy. What has she been exposed to? Kids that age need their caregivers to be consistent and stable or they are going to lack attachment, which is very hard to correct. I don't know if you bring guys home or if ex brings women home in front of this child, but if so consider that this is only making things worse.</p><p></p><p>Here is a post about attachment problems: This is mostly about adopted kids, but it applies to biological kids who did not get their emotioinal needs met even if they were biological so it can apply to any child with a chaotic past. If you can handle it, please read the whole thing. LIkely you knew nothing about attachment (most of us don't), but sounds like your daughter had very inconsistent caregiving in those important first three years, through no fault of your own, since you did not know and hub was useless.</p><p></p><p><a href="http://www.emkpress.com/pdffiles/BW-attach.pdf" target="_blank">http://www.emkpress.com/pdffiles/BW-attach.pdf</a></p><p></p><p></p><p>I really think you both need serious counseling. Her behavior is in my opinion an obvious reaction to her early years. You can both do better. I have had an unattached child and hurting an animal is not a good sign for an adjusted child. She needs help NOW. It could be that your other child was related to differently because in my opinion the older one acts like a child who is unattached...and that can turn inoto criminal behavior. Please help her. Find an attachment therapist. </p><p></p><p>Good luck.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 542879, member: 1550"] She has had a very unstable early life which can lead to attachment problems. These kids learn not to trust adults and learn to take care of #1. It is a comon problem, but a serious one. You had ambivalent feelings toward her...that matters to a developing child. Also in my opinion three was too young to bring a new honey into her life...you can date without including her in it. in my opinion it is best to do just that. It's confusing to a young child and just one more adult who comes and goes. Another reason not to trust adults and to go into herself, taking care of herself only without being able to care for others. Has she seen you or your ex with other partners a lot, kissing, sleeping in the same room, etc? I don't think young kids should have to deal with their parents lovers...I don't think it's healthy. What has she been exposed to? Kids that age need their caregivers to be consistent and stable or they are going to lack attachment, which is very hard to correct. I don't know if you bring guys home or if ex brings women home in front of this child, but if so consider that this is only making things worse. Here is a post about attachment problems: This is mostly about adopted kids, but it applies to biological kids who did not get their emotioinal needs met even if they were biological so it can apply to any child with a chaotic past. If you can handle it, please read the whole thing. LIkely you knew nothing about attachment (most of us don't), but sounds like your daughter had very inconsistent caregiving in those important first three years, through no fault of your own, since you did not know and hub was useless. [URL]http://www.emkpress.com/pdffiles/BW-attach.pdf[/URL] I really think you both need serious counseling. Her behavior is in my opinion an obvious reaction to her early years. You can both do better. I have had an unattached child and hurting an animal is not a good sign for an adjusted child. She needs help NOW. It could be that your other child was related to differently because in my opinion the older one acts like a child who is unattached...and that can turn inoto criminal behavior. Please help her. Find an attachment therapist. Good luck. [/QUOTE]
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