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An absolute whirlwind!
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 652662" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Each of us has to reach a place where the only thing left is to turn away.</p><p></p><p>It takes a very long time, and many betrayals of trust, to get to that place.</p><p></p><p>It is a very sad place.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I am glad you could acknowledge the anger. There is strength in anger. </p><p></p><p>And beneath the anger, there is the pain of betrayal, and grief at the child's pain and confusion.</p><p></p><p>Nothing about this is easy.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry this is happening to each of you. Perhaps your daughter will be able to pull herself back together and reclaim her life, now. </p><p></p><p>That is my wish for you.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Oh, never feel that way about us, Weary. When we post that we have been where another of us is, that is just what we mean. We each have taken our children in, we each have changed our minds about how to help our kids and our families and ourselves, we each have felt that impotent rage, that thing that enables us to stand up, at all.</p><p></p><p>You are safe, here with us.</p><p></p><p>We are not so much into judging, having fallen down and fallen down.</p><p></p><p>You are handling everything so well, Weary.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Ha!</p><p></p><p>I love this.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This frees us to love them. </p><p></p><p>Suddenly, we are out of that place where the only things that matter are bad things. If we can turn responsibility for their choices over to them, then the kids stand a better chance of owning their choices, I think.</p><p></p><p>It is hard to do that, when they are going a wrong way.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>It was sticking to your guns about what you would do for her that allowed her to be in those sad places that taught her these true things about life. I am so hopeful for her, too. She sounds like a good kid.</p><p></p><p>I know how you love her so much.</p><p></p><p>I know that feeling, too. Hearts in our mouths, we have to let them learn how to choose better paths for themselves.</p><p></p><p>Loving them as they do this, letting them know we know the battle is a hard one but that we are in their corner strengthens them, too. The drugs out there these days are so much stronger than anything we have any knowledge of.</p><p></p><p>It is hard for the kids, too.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Please know that we have been where you are. There is no judgment here, for any of us. If this were easy, if doing this right were even possible, we would not need the support we have created for ourselves and one another, here on this site. (A sincere thank you to Runaway Bunny, and to the moderators, for making this the safe, supportive place that it is for us all.)</p><p></p><p>There is no betrayal when the heart is sincere.</p><p></p><p>It is good for us to remember that where our kids are concerned, too. Addiction is a terrible thing. The truth for us and for our kids is that they are who we were so sure they would grow to become, before the nightmare took hold and got it's teeth into them.</p><p></p><p>That's still who they are.</p><p></p><p>The rotten things we see are the drugs, and the addiction.</p><p></p><p></p><p>You are doing so well, and so quickly, too.</p><p></p><p>It took me years and years and years to get where you are, today.</p><p></p><p>Good job!</p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/hugs.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":hugs:" title="hugs :hugs:" data-shortname=":hugs:" /></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>And we need you too, Weary. </p><p></p><p>It works because we are all here, all in our different levels of understanding and hope.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 652662, member: 17461"] Each of us has to reach a place where the only thing left is to turn away. It takes a very long time, and many betrayals of trust, to get to that place. It is a very sad place. I am glad you could acknowledge the anger. There is strength in anger. And beneath the anger, there is the pain of betrayal, and grief at the child's pain and confusion. Nothing about this is easy. I am sorry this is happening to each of you. Perhaps your daughter will be able to pull herself back together and reclaim her life, now. That is my wish for you. :O) Oh, never feel that way about us, Weary. When we post that we have been where another of us is, that is just what we mean. We each have taken our children in, we each have changed our minds about how to help our kids and our families and ourselves, we each have felt that impotent rage, that thing that enables us to stand up, at all. You are safe, here with us. We are not so much into judging, having fallen down and fallen down. You are handling everything so well, Weary. Ha! I love this. This frees us to love them. Suddenly, we are out of that place where the only things that matter are bad things. If we can turn responsibility for their choices over to them, then the kids stand a better chance of owning their choices, I think. It is hard to do that, when they are going a wrong way. It was sticking to your guns about what you would do for her that allowed her to be in those sad places that taught her these true things about life. I am so hopeful for her, too. She sounds like a good kid. I know how you love her so much. I know that feeling, too. Hearts in our mouths, we have to let them learn how to choose better paths for themselves. Loving them as they do this, letting them know we know the battle is a hard one but that we are in their corner strengthens them, too. The drugs out there these days are so much stronger than anything we have any knowledge of. It is hard for the kids, too. Yes. Please know that we have been where you are. There is no judgment here, for any of us. If this were easy, if doing this right were even possible, we would not need the support we have created for ourselves and one another, here on this site. (A sincere thank you to Runaway Bunny, and to the moderators, for making this the safe, supportive place that it is for us all.) There is no betrayal when the heart is sincere. It is good for us to remember that where our kids are concerned, too. Addiction is a terrible thing. The truth for us and for our kids is that they are who we were so sure they would grow to become, before the nightmare took hold and got it's teeth into them. That's still who they are. The rotten things we see are the drugs, and the addiction. You are doing so well, and so quickly, too. It took me years and years and years to get where you are, today. Good job! :hugs: And we need you too, Weary. It works because we are all here, all in our different levels of understanding and hope. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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