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An absolute whirlwind!
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 652682" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Weary, you have betrayed no one here. Your Difficult Child is still young and she may very well turn things around. That is my sincere hope for all of you.</p><p>It's ok to be angry with her, she has caused some serious chaos in your life and it's ok to let her know that's how you feel but also remind her that you love her.</p><p>Forgiveness is one thing, forgetting is another.</p><p>You have learned some valuable lessons and know how important boundaries are, make those very clear to her. You and your husband need to decide on a time frame of how long you will allow her to stay. It will be great if she gets a job but then there's the worry of will she be responsible with the money she earns and save it for an apt. Again, this is where boundaries can be helpful. Something along the lines of "as long as you live under our roof and are working, we will cash your paycheck and keep a certain amount to save for you so you can work towards getting an apt."</p><p>It's a tough place to be as the Difficult Child wants to be an "adult" yet does not quite understand what all that entails. There is absolutely nothing wrong with helping her as long as she is also working towards the same goal, if she's not that's when it's enabling. Again, she is still young.</p><p>You now have the knowledge of what can go wrong and you are much better prepared if that happens. You and hubby need to be on the same page with the boundaries.</p><p>You are not the first to go back and help a Difficult Child, I and my husband did it quite a few times unfortunately for us our Difficult Child never "got it".</p><p>It is my hope and prayer that your daughter will truly see what a gift she has been given and turn her life around. If things go the other way, you will know in your heart you did everything you could to help her.</p><p>Thank you so much for updating us.</p><p>Sending you ((HUGS)) and keeping good thoughts for you.</p><p>Please let us know how things are going.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 652682, member: 18516"] Weary, you have betrayed no one here. Your Difficult Child is still young and she may very well turn things around. That is my sincere hope for all of you. It's ok to be angry with her, she has caused some serious chaos in your life and it's ok to let her know that's how you feel but also remind her that you love her. Forgiveness is one thing, forgetting is another. You have learned some valuable lessons and know how important boundaries are, make those very clear to her. You and your husband need to decide on a time frame of how long you will allow her to stay. It will be great if she gets a job but then there's the worry of will she be responsible with the money she earns and save it for an apt. Again, this is where boundaries can be helpful. Something along the lines of "as long as you live under our roof and are working, we will cash your paycheck and keep a certain amount to save for you so you can work towards getting an apt." It's a tough place to be as the Difficult Child wants to be an "adult" yet does not quite understand what all that entails. There is absolutely nothing wrong with helping her as long as she is also working towards the same goal, if she's not that's when it's enabling. Again, she is still young. You now have the knowledge of what can go wrong and you are much better prepared if that happens. You and hubby need to be on the same page with the boundaries. You are not the first to go back and help a Difficult Child, I and my husband did it quite a few times unfortunately for us our Difficult Child never "got it". It is my hope and prayer that your daughter will truly see what a gift she has been given and turn her life around. If things go the other way, you will know in your heart you did everything you could to help her. Thank you so much for updating us. Sending you ((HUGS)) and keeping good thoughts for you. Please let us know how things are going. [/QUOTE]
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