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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 653110" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Well first and foremost you and your husband have to be on the same page, you have to be a united front. If she gets the smallest inkling that you both do not agree 100% she will use it against you.</p><p> </p><p>My suggestion is you and your husband discuss what your boundaries with her are. Write them down, then together go over them with your daughter. What is the time frame for her to live in your home?</p><p>Are you charging her rent? (I would even if it's only $100 per month) She should not be allowed to live there rent free. If she argues that she "helps" around the house I would explain that is part of the deal of living there. What are your house rules; what time is the house locked up for the night - everybody must be in. Groceries, is she buying her own? Make the boudnaries and expectations clear to her.</p><p> </p><p>You are affording her a priveledge to live in your home. It is your home and your rules. It does sound like she is trying which is good but there has to be some structure and time frames set in place. You need to send her a clear message that you are helping her but that at some point she needs to be doing for herself.</p><p> </p><p>I'm sorry, tanning???? She needs to be saving her money with the goal of moving out and getting her own place to live. Does she know how to budget? Dave Ramsey offers some very good advice and tips. The envelope system is a great way to start and learn how to budget. Here's a link.</p><p><a href="http://www.daveramsey.com/blog/envelope-system-explained" target="_blank">http://www.daveramsey.com/blog/envelope-system-explained</a></p><p>If it were me, one of the rules would be that you and husband hold the envelopes. This does not mean that she cannot have some spending money but she needs to get her priorities stratight.</p><p> </p><p>Hanging up on you is not acceptable and you need to tell her that.</p><p>I would remind her that you are giving her another chance even though you don't have to.</p><p> </p><p>I know how much time and energy it takes but you and husband really need to be on the same page and clearly lay out your rules and boundaries. You need to have and be prepared to follow through on consequences. If that means she has to move out then so be it. She is 18, yes she's young but she needs to start taking care of herself.</p><p> </p><p>((HUGS)) to you............</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 653110, member: 18516"] Well first and foremost you and your husband have to be on the same page, you have to be a united front. If she gets the smallest inkling that you both do not agree 100% she will use it against you. My suggestion is you and your husband discuss what your boundaries with her are. Write them down, then together go over them with your daughter. What is the time frame for her to live in your home? Are you charging her rent? (I would even if it's only $100 per month) She should not be allowed to live there rent free. If she argues that she "helps" around the house I would explain that is part of the deal of living there. What are your house rules; what time is the house locked up for the night - everybody must be in. Groceries, is she buying her own? Make the boudnaries and expectations clear to her. You are affording her a priveledge to live in your home. It is your home and your rules. It does sound like she is trying which is good but there has to be some structure and time frames set in place. You need to send her a clear message that you are helping her but that at some point she needs to be doing for herself. I'm sorry, tanning???? She needs to be saving her money with the goal of moving out and getting her own place to live. Does she know how to budget? Dave Ramsey offers some very good advice and tips. The envelope system is a great way to start and learn how to budget. Here's a link. [URL]http://www.daveramsey.com/blog/envelope-system-explained[/URL] If it were me, one of the rules would be that you and husband hold the envelopes. This does not mean that she cannot have some spending money but she needs to get her priorities stratight. Hanging up on you is not acceptable and you need to tell her that. I would remind her that you are giving her another chance even though you don't have to. I know how much time and energy it takes but you and husband really need to be on the same page and clearly lay out your rules and boundaries. You need to have and be prepared to follow through on consequences. If that means she has to move out then so be it. She is 18, yes she's young but she needs to start taking care of herself. ((HUGS)) to you............ [/QUOTE]
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