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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 281078" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Maybe this is some type of explanation - </p><p> </p><p>As a young child - I felt very disconnected to everyone. My parents were good parents, but very strict - my father a hermit of sorts. </p><p> </p><p>When I married I thought I finally got the family the big family that I longed for. THinking from an adoptee point of view I must have been from a large family and this would put me back to "normal". It did not. </p><p> </p><p>I survived the marriage - got out -and as I get older Steely - I find that I'm more comfortable being a watcher too. I sometimes think if I hit the lottery I'd like to go places and just sit and watch people all day. I don't think it's creepy - I think it's a curiousity. </p><p> </p><p>As I get older? The more I know people the more I love my dogs better. Really. I never thought I would be a loner - but I'm back where I started and while I can entertain and carry on conversations with a stranger? I'm really more comfy being alone. Nearly every friend I have ever made has used me, and tossed me to the side and at mid 40's I just don't feel like going through the motions of "Want to be friends?" I'm not shy, I'm not an introvert - I can be the literal life of a party - but I can't do it all day long. </p><p> </p><p>I enjoy my slow-paced life now - where things are predictable to a point, and I have my family around me and my dogs. Not that I wouldn't mind having a BFF - but at this point in my life? I just don't have the energy to get tossed aside again -and I'm not naive anymore so I just don't put myself in that spot. </p><p> </p><p>It's not that I'm superior - but I've become pretty selective over the last few years and well - like I said - I don't mind meeting someone for coffee or going to lunch, but I just don't enjoy all the fakey fake, bossy, you don't measure up female carp in my life - not any more. </p><p> </p><p>I just think some of us get to a point where keeping it real is better than playing the game. </p><p> </p><p>Just a thought. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/tongue.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tongue:" title="tongue :tongue:" data-shortname=":tongue:" /> THen of course there is being totally serious all day long......(not) ever</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 281078, member: 4964"] Maybe this is some type of explanation - As a young child - I felt very disconnected to everyone. My parents were good parents, but very strict - my father a hermit of sorts. When I married I thought I finally got the family the big family that I longed for. THinking from an adoptee point of view I must have been from a large family and this would put me back to "normal". It did not. I survived the marriage - got out -and as I get older Steely - I find that I'm more comfortable being a watcher too. I sometimes think if I hit the lottery I'd like to go places and just sit and watch people all day. I don't think it's creepy - I think it's a curiousity. As I get older? The more I know people the more I love my dogs better. Really. I never thought I would be a loner - but I'm back where I started and while I can entertain and carry on conversations with a stranger? I'm really more comfy being alone. Nearly every friend I have ever made has used me, and tossed me to the side and at mid 40's I just don't feel like going through the motions of "Want to be friends?" I'm not shy, I'm not an introvert - I can be the literal life of a party - but I can't do it all day long. I enjoy my slow-paced life now - where things are predictable to a point, and I have my family around me and my dogs. Not that I wouldn't mind having a BFF - but at this point in my life? I just don't have the energy to get tossed aside again -and I'm not naive anymore so I just don't put myself in that spot. It's not that I'm superior - but I've become pretty selective over the last few years and well - like I said - I don't mind meeting someone for coffee or going to lunch, but I just don't enjoy all the fakey fake, bossy, you don't measure up female carp in my life - not any more. I just think some of us get to a point where keeping it real is better than playing the game. Just a thought. :raspberry-tounge: THen of course there is being totally serious all day long......(not) ever [/QUOTE]
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