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Parent Emeritus
An update. Good, and not that good.
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 658270" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Hi IAD, I read your post a couple of times and I see a lot of positive things! That is so great, when we can see progress. Like Al-Anon says, progress not perfection.</p><p></p><p>It's not going to be perfect.</p><p></p><p>I know it's hard to listen to a kid being hungry, but he's got food, maybe just not the food he wants. He has a job, maybe just not the job he wants. He is feeling better, just not all the way better...yet.</p><p></p><p>I have found that with my son, many of these things are true as well. I hear him talk about wanting a better job, to go back to school, to have better clothes, he's tired, he doesn't know if his paycheck will stretch to buy food now that he and his girlfriend have broken up---she had the food stamps they used. </p><p></p><p>This is key for me: Now is not the time to jump in. This is the kind of life lesson they must learn and learn how to cope, just like you and I did a long time ago. </p><p></p><p>Needing to work is a very important part of it. Needing to work because if they don't, they have no place to live, no electricity, no shower, no bed to sleep in, no car to drive, nothing. </p><p></p><p>That is important for all of us in life. We need to have to do things we don't want to do.</p><p></p><p>What about YOU? If it's too hard to hear the daily stuff of it all, go to every other day talking to him. My son just started working out too. I think this is huge positive sign. He can't afford a gym so he is lifting weights at home. Believe me, I started thinking about buying him a gym membership. No Mom, don't do that!!! I told myself. Let him deal with life. </p><p></p><p>I know it's hard, but when you just can't stand it, come here and talk to us about it. Instead of acting. Feel your feelings, but don't think they are facts. Separate your feelings from your actions.</p><p></p><p>We are sooooooo hopeful when there is positive change. We want soooooooo much to support it. By doing nothing except offering encouragement and love, we are providing the kind of support they truly need. </p><p></p><p>Hang in there! I see progress!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 658270, member: 17542"] Hi IAD, I read your post a couple of times and I see a lot of positive things! That is so great, when we can see progress. Like Al-Anon says, progress not perfection. It's not going to be perfect. I know it's hard to listen to a kid being hungry, but he's got food, maybe just not the food he wants. He has a job, maybe just not the job he wants. He is feeling better, just not all the way better...yet. I have found that with my son, many of these things are true as well. I hear him talk about wanting a better job, to go back to school, to have better clothes, he's tired, he doesn't know if his paycheck will stretch to buy food now that he and his girlfriend have broken up---she had the food stamps they used. This is key for me: Now is not the time to jump in. This is the kind of life lesson they must learn and learn how to cope, just like you and I did a long time ago. Needing to work is a very important part of it. Needing to work because if they don't, they have no place to live, no electricity, no shower, no bed to sleep in, no car to drive, nothing. That is important for all of us in life. We need to have to do things we don't want to do. What about YOU? If it's too hard to hear the daily stuff of it all, go to every other day talking to him. My son just started working out too. I think this is huge positive sign. He can't afford a gym so he is lifting weights at home. Believe me, I started thinking about buying him a gym membership. No Mom, don't do that!!! I told myself. Let him deal with life. I know it's hard, but when you just can't stand it, come here and talk to us about it. Instead of acting. Feel your feelings, but don't think they are facts. Separate your feelings from your actions. We are sooooooo hopeful when there is positive change. We want soooooooo much to support it. By doing nothing except offering encouragement and love, we are providing the kind of support they truly need. Hang in there! I see progress! [/QUOTE]
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