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And he's gone.....
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 522832" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Oh dear, your poor mommy heart is wounded, yes, I think we ALL know how that feels. I'm so very sorry. Others will be along to give you advice about the things you need advice about, I do not know enough about your particular issues. However, I can relate to all the feelings. I'm so glad your Mom will be there to support you, that's perfect timing. It's all so hard and so overwhelming when we are dealing with our difficult children. Yes, all you can do sometimes is put one foot in front of the other, keep posting here, cry when you need to, get outside support from people who know how to assist you, therapists, groups for parents like Alanon, CoDa, 12 step groups, others here more experienced can give you advice on that. For me, I have learned to do a lot to keep me nurtured, like therapy and groups, but also acupuncture which reduces stress, massage and getting plenty of exercise and fresh air. There are medications which can help you with anxiety and sleeping if you decide to go that route, at least you can sleep. (that's a personal choice)</p><p></p><p>This is all a process. It takes us time to pull ourselves away from our children's issues. We've been taking care of them for years and all of a sudden, poof, detach and let go? It doesn't work that way. It's a challenging road, no one gets there without heartache. We all know how you feel. I wish I could answer your questions with some great responses that will give you instant relief and make the pain go away. I can't. I'm so sorry. I know how real and deep that pain goes. I know how the sleepless nights are with all the worry and fear. But, it does get better. Little by little, you go through it, you understand it better, you gain clarity, you cry, you get support, you learn about detaching from their issues, you learn to love them in a different, more removed way. </p><p></p><p>You don't "let it break you" because you have another child to take care of, you have a husband, you have <em>your</em> life. You function through each day, one moment at a time, you deal with what's in front of you, you don't go into the future and let yourself get frightened because there's nothing you can do about that now. You live right here in the present moment and do what you must. You learn more about acceptance. You grieve. And then, as time goes by, you have more and more moments of being okay. And, those multiply. </p><p></p><p>Keep posting here. Keep the lines of communication open with your daughter and your husband. You will be okay. You will do what's needed, your mother's strength will surface and guide you through. We're here if you need us. Keep posting, it helps. Big giant HUGS for you and prayers for you and your family.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 522832, member: 13542"] Oh dear, your poor mommy heart is wounded, yes, I think we ALL know how that feels. I'm so very sorry. Others will be along to give you advice about the things you need advice about, I do not know enough about your particular issues. However, I can relate to all the feelings. I'm so glad your Mom will be there to support you, that's perfect timing. It's all so hard and so overwhelming when we are dealing with our difficult children. Yes, all you can do sometimes is put one foot in front of the other, keep posting here, cry when you need to, get outside support from people who know how to assist you, therapists, groups for parents like Alanon, CoDa, 12 step groups, others here more experienced can give you advice on that. For me, I have learned to do a lot to keep me nurtured, like therapy and groups, but also acupuncture which reduces stress, massage and getting plenty of exercise and fresh air. There are medications which can help you with anxiety and sleeping if you decide to go that route, at least you can sleep. (that's a personal choice) This is all a process. It takes us time to pull ourselves away from our children's issues. We've been taking care of them for years and all of a sudden, poof, detach and let go? It doesn't work that way. It's a challenging road, no one gets there without heartache. We all know how you feel. I wish I could answer your questions with some great responses that will give you instant relief and make the pain go away. I can't. I'm so sorry. I know how real and deep that pain goes. I know how the sleepless nights are with all the worry and fear. But, it does get better. Little by little, you go through it, you understand it better, you gain clarity, you cry, you get support, you learn about detaching from their issues, you learn to love them in a different, more removed way. You don't "let it break you" because you have another child to take care of, you have a husband, you have [I]your[/I] life. You function through each day, one moment at a time, you deal with what's in front of you, you don't go into the future and let yourself get frightened because there's nothing you can do about that now. You live right here in the present moment and do what you must. You learn more about acceptance. You grieve. And then, as time goes by, you have more and more moments of being okay. And, those multiply. Keep posting here. Keep the lines of communication open with your daughter and your husband. You will be okay. You will do what's needed, your mother's strength will surface and guide you through. We're here if you need us. Keep posting, it helps. Big giant HUGS for you and prayers for you and your family. [/QUOTE]
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