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And he's gone.....
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<blockquote data-quote="welcometowitsend" data-source="post: 522985" data-attributes="member: 14356"><p>Thank you so much for the warmth and support. It really does feel like a big hug from people who have been there done that and know (in some way or another) the pain that we are feeling as a family. </p><p></p><p>Yesterday was such a horrible day (being Easter didn't help). My mother kept telling me I had to do something. Get him into therapy (only if he's willing because I can't force him into anything unless I can get him medically declared - which I can't because he never does this around anyone at school, friends or at girlfriend's house) , get him home, change my rules....she just wants him home with us and it seems at almost any cost. I'm not going to do that. I didn't get the support I thought I would from her last night - I guess she needed as much support, maybe more, than I did. I didn't think of that. </p><p></p><p>Yesterday was exhausting - get up and do Easter egg hunt for easy child daughter and pretend everything is a-ok, stop at DS's new place and drop off an Easter Basket(chocolate only) and a letter telling him that we love him and hope that he has a change of heart, go to church (lost it and bawled during mass), spent most of the afternoon crying while daughter and husband were out, cooked dinner and entertained both sets of grandparents, and sat around the table and discussed all of this again.</p><p> </p><p>Last night husband and I sat down and had a talk. Here's what we're going to do.</p><p>1) I'm still going to go to the school to straighten things out and get them to change his address. </p><p>2) We're going to call him once or twice a week (when easy child is at dance class) just to say hello and ask what's been happening in his life. </p><p>3) Continue to let him know that we love him and that if he chooses to get therapy and change his behaviour he can come home (of course he doesn't want that right now)</p><p>4) We're not going to give him money. If he needed food I would buy food for him. </p><p></p><p>I have resigned myself to treating him like a young adult that has moved out on his own to start his life. This is how the law sees him. I can't believe the laws in this country. So ridiculous.</p><p></p><p>It's going to be very hard to be lovingly detached - guess I'll have to fake it till I make it. And I will keep coming here, reading and taking comfort in the kind words of everyone here and knowing that we are not alone in this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="welcometowitsend, post: 522985, member: 14356"] Thank you so much for the warmth and support. It really does feel like a big hug from people who have been there done that and know (in some way or another) the pain that we are feeling as a family. Yesterday was such a horrible day (being Easter didn't help). My mother kept telling me I had to do something. Get him into therapy (only if he's willing because I can't force him into anything unless I can get him medically declared - which I can't because he never does this around anyone at school, friends or at girlfriend's house) , get him home, change my rules....she just wants him home with us and it seems at almost any cost. I'm not going to do that. I didn't get the support I thought I would from her last night - I guess she needed as much support, maybe more, than I did. I didn't think of that. Yesterday was exhausting - get up and do Easter egg hunt for easy child daughter and pretend everything is a-ok, stop at DS's new place and drop off an Easter Basket(chocolate only) and a letter telling him that we love him and hope that he has a change of heart, go to church (lost it and bawled during mass), spent most of the afternoon crying while daughter and husband were out, cooked dinner and entertained both sets of grandparents, and sat around the table and discussed all of this again. Last night husband and I sat down and had a talk. Here's what we're going to do. 1) I'm still going to go to the school to straighten things out and get them to change his address. 2) We're going to call him once or twice a week (when easy child is at dance class) just to say hello and ask what's been happening in his life. 3) Continue to let him know that we love him and that if he chooses to get therapy and change his behaviour he can come home (of course he doesn't want that right now) 4) We're not going to give him money. If he needed food I would buy food for him. I have resigned myself to treating him like a young adult that has moved out on his own to start his life. This is how the law sees him. I can't believe the laws in this country. So ridiculous. It's going to be very hard to be lovingly detached - guess I'll have to fake it till I make it. And I will keep coming here, reading and taking comfort in the kind words of everyone here and knowing that we are not alone in this. [/QUOTE]
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