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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 355414" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>It is so hard when we try to give our kids the opportunities they need for the social side in life and also the responsible side in life. I wonder if you can talk to difficult child and let him know that if he would have given you more information earlier about what the group was expecting out of him you could have helped him make a more realistic goal. I suppose some other kid had spoke up with a "I can raise $500" and difficult child wanted to better that? I am struggling with my difficult child to accept what he can do and what he does earn and not be angry that he wasn't number 1 and got all that "glory".</p><p> </p><p>I also do not like that the leader was irked that the $800 didn't come in. These fundraisers are getting way too materialistic for me - it is all about the numbers and nothing about the process. If the leader was kinder about it like maybe say, "Oh, it didn't work out this time. Maybe next time." or "difficult child, I am so grateful for the heart you have to serve others. You may not have the money this time but the time you put into praying and actually working on projects is just as important to those we are trying to help." lt so would have been more beneficial to difficult child. Just think, he had grand plans of handing over $800 - in his mind that was what he was thinking about, not actually having the money but how awesome it would feel to have the "glory" of those he gave the money to. I am sure that he felt bad when he had to go in without it and then to have the leader shove it further into his disappointment with being irked instead of supportive..... No wonder our difficult child's have a hard time getting through some of the things they set themselves up to fail in.</p><p> </p><p>I hope he was able to settle in after the hard enterance to the event and found some joy in the evening.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 355414, member: 5096"] It is so hard when we try to give our kids the opportunities they need for the social side in life and also the responsible side in life. I wonder if you can talk to difficult child and let him know that if he would have given you more information earlier about what the group was expecting out of him you could have helped him make a more realistic goal. I suppose some other kid had spoke up with a "I can raise $500" and difficult child wanted to better that? I am struggling with my difficult child to accept what he can do and what he does earn and not be angry that he wasn't number 1 and got all that "glory". I also do not like that the leader was irked that the $800 didn't come in. These fundraisers are getting way too materialistic for me - it is all about the numbers and nothing about the process. If the leader was kinder about it like maybe say, "Oh, it didn't work out this time. Maybe next time." or "difficult child, I am so grateful for the heart you have to serve others. You may not have the money this time but the time you put into praying and actually working on projects is just as important to those we are trying to help." lt so would have been more beneficial to difficult child. Just think, he had grand plans of handing over $800 - in his mind that was what he was thinking about, not actually having the money but how awesome it would feel to have the "glory" of those he gave the money to. I am sure that he felt bad when he had to go in without it and then to have the leader shove it further into his disappointment with being irked instead of supportive..... No wonder our difficult child's have a hard time getting through some of the things they set themselves up to fail in. I hope he was able to settle in after the hard enterance to the event and found some joy in the evening. [/QUOTE]
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