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And she got caught with pot.
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 609343" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I will certainly pray for you and your daughter Mamakathy, prayer helps and here on this board, I think we ALL need prayers. Every 30 days I call a prayer line for my daughter..........every day I pray for her..........and many of the mothers, fathers and children on this board too.</p><p></p><p>Everything you said is exactly how I feel too. I imagine your fears are universal in the difficult child world. Most of our kids are ill equipped for the real world, whether we taught them how to do it or not. I believe over time we all have to ditch that guilt, because it becomes painfully obvious, even to us, that it isn't our fault, it is the different wiring our kids have.</p><p></p><p>Of course you worry........we all worry here..........most of it turns out to be worry about stuff we have absolutely NO control over. For me that got so bad it really had the capacity to ruin my life and keep me from being present for my granddaughter whom I am raising. I made a choice to put all my efforts into changing what I had control over, ME. It took time but with A LOT of professional help and support and tools and more understanding of the dynamics of enabling and detachment, I made it out of that fearful, guilty, stuck place. To say it was the hardest thing I ever have done is an understatement of epic proportions. So, I get the "this is so flipping hard I want to scream." I would venture to guess that there are many here who would second that thought.</p><p></p><p>This is where you take steps to detach. One day at a time. You make different choices in your responses to your daughter. You take another baby step. It doesn't happen overnight and it isn't a process that makes sense or is linear............because of love, of our parental dreams and disillusions, we are compelled to turn over all the rocks.........and I think we must so at whatever point it is that we do reach that acceptance that comes with detachment, we really can let go.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter may wake up and this will all be a moot point. However, if she remains the way she is, you retrieving your own life and your own joy and your own peace of mind is the only path to take that doesn't promote more suffering. </p><p></p><p>For today, take a small step to do something kind for yourself. Go have your nails done, a pedicure, go for a long walk in the woods, have lunch with a girlfriend.............and equally as important find a serious support system for yourself, whether that is therapy, a 12 step group, a parent support group, some place where you will get the support you need to walk through this, get comforted, get the tools you'll need to walk on through and come out the other side.............<em>you can do this..</em>.........keep posting, nurture yourself, get support. Sending you hugs and wishes for peace.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 609343, member: 13542"] I will certainly pray for you and your daughter Mamakathy, prayer helps and here on this board, I think we ALL need prayers. Every 30 days I call a prayer line for my daughter..........every day I pray for her..........and many of the mothers, fathers and children on this board too. Everything you said is exactly how I feel too. I imagine your fears are universal in the difficult child world. Most of our kids are ill equipped for the real world, whether we taught them how to do it or not. I believe over time we all have to ditch that guilt, because it becomes painfully obvious, even to us, that it isn't our fault, it is the different wiring our kids have. Of course you worry........we all worry here..........most of it turns out to be worry about stuff we have absolutely NO control over. For me that got so bad it really had the capacity to ruin my life and keep me from being present for my granddaughter whom I am raising. I made a choice to put all my efforts into changing what I had control over, ME. It took time but with A LOT of professional help and support and tools and more understanding of the dynamics of enabling and detachment, I made it out of that fearful, guilty, stuck place. To say it was the hardest thing I ever have done is an understatement of epic proportions. So, I get the "this is so flipping hard I want to scream." I would venture to guess that there are many here who would second that thought. This is where you take steps to detach. One day at a time. You make different choices in your responses to your daughter. You take another baby step. It doesn't happen overnight and it isn't a process that makes sense or is linear............because of love, of our parental dreams and disillusions, we are compelled to turn over all the rocks.........and I think we must so at whatever point it is that we do reach that acceptance that comes with detachment, we really can let go. Your daughter may wake up and this will all be a moot point. However, if she remains the way she is, you retrieving your own life and your own joy and your own peace of mind is the only path to take that doesn't promote more suffering. For today, take a small step to do something kind for yourself. Go have your nails done, a pedicure, go for a long walk in the woods, have lunch with a girlfriend.............and equally as important find a serious support system for yourself, whether that is therapy, a 12 step group, a parent support group, some place where you will get the support you need to walk through this, get comforted, get the tools you'll need to walk on through and come out the other side.............[I]you can do this..[/I].........keep posting, nurture yourself, get support. Sending you hugs and wishes for peace. [/QUOTE]
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And she got caught with pot.
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