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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 752864" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi everyone, I am stealing a moment to write in the rare quiet of a rainy dawn. A new day. I am so very thankful to have my cyber warrior sisters to turn to. I oft reflect on how much your kindness and encouragement has helped me through the darkest of struggles. There are no words to express my gratitude. Dearest Copa, what a respite that would be, for us all to be close physically. How remarkable that despite distance and anonymity, we are able to share a bond through troubles and triumphs. I treasure your thoughts, wisdom and kindness, most of all your perseverance in being a beacon of light for those who’s hearts spill out upon this site.</p><p></p><p> Staying in hope. That is where I must be, there is no other recourse, to lose hope and faith would be to shut down completely. I could not envision a future for my grands if I lost hope. Yet I falter at times. Hoping this will not be a repeat of their parents history.</p><p>Thank you Copa, I feel I have had that emergency mode over my head for quite some time now. But, many people suffer challenges of different sorts and prevail. I am thinking of Viktor Frankl and his ability to rise above the insanity of the concentration camp horrors, to still have faith in humanity and focus on helping others find their light and potential. In fact, now that I wrote that, I need to refresh my mind on his teachings of logotherapy. “Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation.You cannot control what happens to you in life, but you can always control how you feel and do about what happens to you.”</p><p>Oh boy, do I feel so not worthy at times of the task, incapable, perhaps, sometimes resentful, confused, frustrated. But then I think of the resilience of these kids to have survived thus far the abomination of mistreatment by the very people who are supposed to love and protect them. That they function at all is a miracle. So, my job is to stay present and try my best to work through the challenges. I don’t feel a hero at all. I am bereft that they have had to suffer the consequences of their parents ill choices. I am hopeful that their resilience will shine through and that they will be able to heal. It will take time.</p><p></p><p> Thank you Copa. You all are in my thoughts and prayers even in my absence from this site. I thank our CD staff who labor to keep the site going. It truly is an oasis for those of us who have traversed the desert and sweltering heat of our challenges with our beloveds.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Oh goodness Wise, I don’t feel like a pillar at all. Thank you for your kind words. I ordered some books on raising traumatized children and hope to gain some insight. We are still in the early stages of their healing and I have to remind myself to not take their raging personally. I am grateful for my daughters help, she has given me strength and guidance and bolsters me when I am weary.</p><p> I have read these words over and again. Thank you Wise. Feelings are warranted, not weakness. I must admit, I have my moments where I have pity parties for losing my “freedom” (my youngest just graduated and I was looking forward to a new beginning to work on myself). Surprise! I felt overwhelmed and somewhat ambushed by this new responsibility. Truth be told. I had a goal to cross the Molokai channel again as they just introduced a 60’s division and I turned 60 in June. I realized that that would not be possible with time constraints on training. That was a tough one to get over. Just so happens that due to weather and outgoing tide this years channel race was one of the longest and most arduous crossings <em>ever</em>. So, I was saved from that ordeal. Life has a way of teaching us. I will still aim for that goal, it will happen hopefully one day.</p><p></p><p>Much love back. Prayers are powerful, sending ripples of hope and strength throughout. I do believe that. After all, we are somehow communicating through tiny machines, satellites and airwaves across the miles. Heartfelt thanks.</p><p></p><p> You all have inspired me with your strength and wisdom. I do believe we hold each other up. Thank you Busy.</p><p></p><p>It is difficult to watch, a stab to the heart. For some reason, Beta, our grown children have set off on paths that we never imagined for them. But, as Copa often writes, they are the authors of their own stories. My hope is that one day they will be able to wake up and see their true potential. I have learned the hard way that I cannot save them from their choices.</p><p></p><p> JayPee thank you for sharing this wonderful verse.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Not a pillar, just bolstered by the kindness and example of others. Far worse has been suffered. Mom always said “There, by the grace of God go I.”</p><p>There is an exercise I read about in psychotherapy called “reframing”. It’s taking challenges and giving them positive meaning. One thing that I have noticed is that the kids are teaching me valuable lessons as well and helping me to reinvent myself.</p><p> A ten year contract would be awesome, but it is not life. Yes, for sure one day at a time.</p><p></p><p> Thank you JayPee and all for your kindness in walking me through this, though I have been but a stranger of late. I am at work and will write more later. I am forever thankful for your help and kind uplifting words.</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 752864, member: 19522"] Hi everyone, I am stealing a moment to write in the rare quiet of a rainy dawn. A new day. I am so very thankful to have my cyber warrior sisters to turn to. I oft reflect on how much your kindness and encouragement has helped me through the darkest of struggles. There are no words to express my gratitude. Dearest Copa, what a respite that would be, for us all to be close physically. How remarkable that despite distance and anonymity, we are able to share a bond through troubles and triumphs. I treasure your thoughts, wisdom and kindness, most of all your perseverance in being a beacon of light for those who’s hearts spill out upon this site. Staying in hope. That is where I must be, there is no other recourse, to lose hope and faith would be to shut down completely. I could not envision a future for my grands if I lost hope. Yet I falter at times. Hoping this will not be a repeat of their parents history. Thank you Copa, I feel I have had that emergency mode over my head for quite some time now. But, many people suffer challenges of different sorts and prevail. I am thinking of Viktor Frankl and his ability to rise above the insanity of the concentration camp horrors, to still have faith in humanity and focus on helping others find their light and potential. In fact, now that I wrote that, I need to refresh my mind on his teachings of logotherapy. “Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation.You cannot control what happens to you in life, but you can always control how you feel and do about what happens to you.” Oh boy, do I feel so not worthy at times of the task, incapable, perhaps, sometimes resentful, confused, frustrated. But then I think of the resilience of these kids to have survived thus far the abomination of mistreatment by the very people who are supposed to love and protect them. That they function at all is a miracle. So, my job is to stay present and try my best to work through the challenges. I don’t feel a hero at all. I am bereft that they have had to suffer the consequences of their parents ill choices. I am hopeful that their resilience will shine through and that they will be able to heal. It will take time. Thank you Copa. You all are in my thoughts and prayers even in my absence from this site. I thank our CD staff who labor to keep the site going. It truly is an oasis for those of us who have traversed the desert and sweltering heat of our challenges with our beloveds. Oh goodness Wise, I don’t feel like a pillar at all. Thank you for your kind words. I ordered some books on raising traumatized children and hope to gain some insight. We are still in the early stages of their healing and I have to remind myself to not take their raging personally. I am grateful for my daughters help, she has given me strength and guidance and bolsters me when I am weary. I have read these words over and again. Thank you Wise. Feelings are warranted, not weakness. I must admit, I have my moments where I have pity parties for losing my “freedom” (my youngest just graduated and I was looking forward to a new beginning to work on myself). Surprise! I felt overwhelmed and somewhat ambushed by this new responsibility. Truth be told. I had a goal to cross the Molokai channel again as they just introduced a 60’s division and I turned 60 in June. I realized that that would not be possible with time constraints on training. That was a tough one to get over. Just so happens that due to weather and outgoing tide this years channel race was one of the longest and most arduous crossings [I]ever[/I]. So, I was saved from that ordeal. Life has a way of teaching us. I will still aim for that goal, it will happen hopefully one day. Much love back. Prayers are powerful, sending ripples of hope and strength throughout. I do believe that. After all, we are somehow communicating through tiny machines, satellites and airwaves across the miles. Heartfelt thanks. You all have inspired me with your strength and wisdom. I do believe we hold each other up. Thank you Busy. It is difficult to watch, a stab to the heart. For some reason, Beta, our grown children have set off on paths that we never imagined for them. But, as Copa often writes, they are the authors of their own stories. My hope is that one day they will be able to wake up and see their true potential. I have learned the hard way that I cannot save them from their choices. JayPee thank you for sharing this wonderful verse. Not a pillar, just bolstered by the kindness and example of others. Far worse has been suffered. Mom always said “There, by the grace of God go I.” There is an exercise I read about in psychotherapy called “reframing”. It’s taking challenges and giving them positive meaning. One thing that I have noticed is that the kids are teaching me valuable lessons as well and helping me to reinvent myself. A ten year contract would be awesome, but it is not life. Yes, for sure one day at a time. Thank you JayPee and all for your kindness in walking me through this, though I have been but a stranger of late. I am at work and will write more later. I am forever thankful for your help and kind uplifting words. (((Hugs))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
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