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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 753124" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>We have no control over the behavior and decisions of another, whether or not we hope or don't hope. And we can't make somebody hope or not hope, for themselves. We do not have that right. And it won't work, either. I have tried with my son. It's futile and ridiculous. </p><p></p><p>This is different from a person, an individual, having hope. Our hope is interior to us. It cannot effect change in anybody. But it can effect profound change in us. And it can effect profound change in the world. Those are my beliefs which I seek to impose on nobody.</p><p></p><p>Lack of hope within an individual, an attitude of hopelessness, to me, can be defeat. It is the giving up of the only thing we really have control over. (I am not speaking to any one person, here.)</p><p></p><p>From hope comes inspiration, comes fight, comes optimism, comes compassion. And with this we emanate a spirit of goodness, as well as, connect with goodness. Even if there is, objectively, no hope. We can create a world of hope, by hoping. Not because things are hopeful or not, but because we choose hope. And that can be contagious. And when we join together with others in spirit we can change the world. And if we can't change our objective world, we still die victorious.</p><p></p><p>That, to me, is the basis of this forum. There is the fundamental understanding we can't change our children. But we can change ourselves. And we can hold hands to give each other strength, to withstand all that we must. What brings us here is suffering and pain and doubt. What keeps us here, and binds us together is hope. Not for our children, although there can be that. But hope that springs eternal within us, that motivates us to be together to share and to support.</p><p>Of course this makes sense. I do it, too. But what you are saying here, New Leaf, is this:<em> I will keep myself down, so I can't fall far. </em>Why would I do that? Certainly, you don't.</p><p>I love it when you remember Victor Frankl. Those were such beautiful threads.</p><p></p><p>When I told my son who presented me with the Food Bank bouquet, <em>"they're wilted</em>." Imagine. Those were the first words out of my mouth. With this, I was NOT channeling our dear departed Victor. What I did was re-create negativity. Oooh. That hurts. With this, I descended to the lowest bar. What would it have cost me to find my heart full of love and gratitude. Not much. When I think about it.</p><p></p><p>How to practice that? I think some of us are burdened by great shame. We abdicate our deepest body/soul, and we begin to act from addiction. There are all kinds of addictions. One of them is using negativity as a means to protect. Which is what I did. I, for one, will try to learn to connect from my deepest love. Which for me, is hope.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 753124, member: 18958"] We have no control over the behavior and decisions of another, whether or not we hope or don't hope. And we can't make somebody hope or not hope, for themselves. We do not have that right. And it won't work, either. I have tried with my son. It's futile and ridiculous. This is different from a person, an individual, having hope. Our hope is interior to us. It cannot effect change in anybody. But it can effect profound change in us. And it can effect profound change in the world. Those are my beliefs which I seek to impose on nobody. Lack of hope within an individual, an attitude of hopelessness, to me, can be defeat. It is the giving up of the only thing we really have control over. (I am not speaking to any one person, here.) From hope comes inspiration, comes fight, comes optimism, comes compassion. And with this we emanate a spirit of goodness, as well as, connect with goodness. Even if there is, objectively, no hope. We can create a world of hope, by hoping. Not because things are hopeful or not, but because we choose hope. And that can be contagious. And when we join together with others in spirit we can change the world. And if we can't change our objective world, we still die victorious. That, to me, is the basis of this forum. There is the fundamental understanding we can't change our children. But we can change ourselves. And we can hold hands to give each other strength, to withstand all that we must. What brings us here is suffering and pain and doubt. What keeps us here, and binds us together is hope. Not for our children, although there can be that. But hope that springs eternal within us, that motivates us to be together to share and to support. Of course this makes sense. I do it, too. But what you are saying here, New Leaf, is this:[I] I will keep myself down, so I can't fall far. [/I]Why would I do that? Certainly, you don't. I love it when you remember Victor Frankl. Those were such beautiful threads. When I told my son who presented me with the Food Bank bouquet, [I]"they're wilted[/I]." Imagine. Those were the first words out of my mouth. With this, I was NOT channeling our dear departed Victor. What I did was re-create negativity. Oooh. That hurts. With this, I descended to the lowest bar. What would it have cost me to find my heart full of love and gratitude. Not much. When I think about it. How to practice that? I think some of us are burdened by great shame. We abdicate our deepest body/soul, and we begin to act from addiction. There are all kinds of addictions. One of them is using negativity as a means to protect. Which is what I did. I, for one, will try to learn to connect from my deepest love. Which for me, is hope. [/QUOTE]
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