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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 444863" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>I'm so sorry and I too don't know what on earth to say although I do wish I had words to help ease your pain. Sometimes the reality with our loved ones is such that there is no words to escape the hurt, it simply is the way it is. I do hear your pain though and send warm hugs and support. </p><p></p><p>The only thing that does come to mind is that I think sometimes when we think behaviors are reflections of their feelings for us (or lack of said feelings), we can be wrong. Sometimes I think people stuck in mentally damaged or ill thinking have zero capability to apply a realistic view of the true impact they have on others, or sometimes they merely are incapable of thinking outside of their distorted thinking. While underlying that it may be that some people can't love in return as they are loved by for example a parent like you, I do think many times it is diseased thinking and they really aren't at all considering or caring about their actions and their consequences on others. Sometimes if a diseased thinking process can be brought to a healthy one, it turns out they do have emotions towards their loved ones and when clear thinking is in place, they may be able to then see how they have to work to consider others and my want to do so. </p><p></p><p>I also wanted to chime in that I too don't believe you created this via any action or inaction on your part. I think sometimes we don't get to know WHY a person develops the way we do. We just love our kids so much it is sometimes hard to see that indeed all humans are born as individuals with their own paths, and we as parents can only TRY to impact their lives in ways that are healthy but it doesn't mean we get to concretely raise them in such and such a way to achieve such and such results. In the end, we are all responsible for ourselves, and we all risk having distorted thinking etc that no environmental impact or influence can ever be responsible for.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 444863, member: 4264"] I'm so sorry and I too don't know what on earth to say although I do wish I had words to help ease your pain. Sometimes the reality with our loved ones is such that there is no words to escape the hurt, it simply is the way it is. I do hear your pain though and send warm hugs and support. The only thing that does come to mind is that I think sometimes when we think behaviors are reflections of their feelings for us (or lack of said feelings), we can be wrong. Sometimes I think people stuck in mentally damaged or ill thinking have zero capability to apply a realistic view of the true impact they have on others, or sometimes they merely are incapable of thinking outside of their distorted thinking. While underlying that it may be that some people can't love in return as they are loved by for example a parent like you, I do think many times it is diseased thinking and they really aren't at all considering or caring about their actions and their consequences on others. Sometimes if a diseased thinking process can be brought to a healthy one, it turns out they do have emotions towards their loved ones and when clear thinking is in place, they may be able to then see how they have to work to consider others and my want to do so. I also wanted to chime in that I too don't believe you created this via any action or inaction on your part. I think sometimes we don't get to know WHY a person develops the way we do. We just love our kids so much it is sometimes hard to see that indeed all humans are born as individuals with their own paths, and we as parents can only TRY to impact their lives in ways that are healthy but it doesn't mean we get to concretely raise them in such and such a way to achieve such and such results. In the end, we are all responsible for ourselves, and we all risk having distorted thinking etc that no environmental impact or influence can ever be responsible for. [/QUOTE]
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