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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 87153" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Hi there, </p><p></p><p>Well I think everyone has had some good points. And what are you supposed to do? Call 911 every time? Do you think that would help? More than likely they will arrest him for assault and he could go to family court or arbitration, be court mandated to take some anger management classes, be court mandated to attend psychologist appointments and at the least would get an idea of what is to come if he continues to solve every issue that doesn't go his way with violence. </p><p></p><p>After dealing with this on an older child level, I can tell you that yes, I call the police, yes I have him placed outside the home, yes I am sending a very CLEAR message that hitting and beating and abuse is not allowed, not at 8 not ever. It's your choice at this point not his. How do you think the 3 1/2 year old is going to be in the future if his own brother is coming at him in a rage? (just asking not judging) but something to think about. </p><p></p><p>If he has another rage and you don't want to call the police here is what I would do. Take him to the nearest ER and tell them he is a danger to himself and others. THAT is the truth. Yes, I know it's hard, it stinks and you just want him to take a pill and be better. That isn't reality. Making sure that he understands at 8 years old that hitting is wrong, and getting a team of psychiatrists to evaluate his medications while he maybe has a short stay in a psychiatric wing at the hospital, gives you time to regroup, and gives the 3 1/2 year old a break from these episodes. </p><p></p><p>Listen, none of us want to be here, but we are. It's our blessing to have a difficult child good or bad behavior. For me, it's lead me to places and to meet people that I never would have met otherwise. It's given me an opportunity to come here and tell others my story, my son's story and hopefully, maybe, something we had to endure will help someone else. My son is now 17. He's been in more out of home placements than I care to count, he's been on 64 medicines, he's had numerous diagnoses from countless psychiatrists, psychologists and I have nearly lost my life, my home, and my fiance~ due to the stress. I love my son. When the world doesn't and when no one else does - I DO. I know you do too. You love both or your kids right? Right. </p><p></p><p>I took my son the first time to the hospital ER at age 7 because he and another little boy were working in our den on a bicycle and the little neighbor boy stuck his head through the dog door twice asking if he could come in too and help. My son became so enraged he grabbed an antique wheat scythe (sickle) off the wall and went down the street screaming "I'll kill you." I caught him and got him to let go of the sickle, went back to the house, grabbed my purse and shoved him in the car while he was still raging. We went to the ER where after sitting and being whispered about from the nurses for 3 hours he FINALLY went ballistic and tore the waiting room apart, ripped plants out of the planters, tore pictures off the wall, kicked the glass, screamed and carried on so badly they finally FINALLY saw what I saw. All of the rage started because I had NO money for the snack machine. They eventually handcuffed him to the bed and 11 hours later we were at the state hospital for disturbed children. He stayed 6 weeks, got on medications, and came home. </p><p></p><p>In our town getting a diagnosis from the state hospital gave us the start we needed to gain access to other services wherein we got funding to seek outside help, get a shadow for school, get a big brother, a psychologist, and out of home placements when we needed them. THERE IS (in my humble opinion) no home that can provide the structure and stick to a consequence like an Residential Treatment Center (RTC). I don't care how hard you try or how hard you are - a few here have tried, but I've yet to hear one say that it worked with every kid. </p><p></p><p>And my the way....no one is throwing stones at you or your kid. We are ALL here because our children have emotional disabilities. I think I am emotionally disabled anymore. Nope I'm sure of it. </p><p></p><p>Hang in there, get a rhino skin suit.....and get educated about what you CAN do. Get a plan of action together and journal the rages, the foods he's eating, the medications he is taking....or not taking and his behavior at school. ANd by the by....he's not kidding when he says he can only hold it together in one place at a time. Mine could either be an angel at home (mostly) and hell to pay at school or vise-versa. For me financially it was easier to have the good behaved child at school (No leaving work or having stressy phone calls about how wonderful my child wasn't) so I went to the school and asked that there be an IEP written for him where he had NO homework. Ever. He would have a shadow help him in class get it done, and no abnormal meltdowns at home about busting pencils or erasing paper until there were holes in it or throwing books or that 4ton bookbag. We kept a set of books at school and at home and when that didn't work? We went to NO homework. You just have to know what sets him off and work with the school about it. </p><p></p><p>We're all here for ya.....dont be a stranger...or at the least don't be stranger than me (I'd hate to loose my crown) </p><p></p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 87153, member: 4964"] Hi there, Well I think everyone has had some good points. And what are you supposed to do? Call 911 every time? Do you think that would help? More than likely they will arrest him for assault and he could go to family court or arbitration, be court mandated to take some anger management classes, be court mandated to attend psychologist appointments and at the least would get an idea of what is to come if he continues to solve every issue that doesn't go his way with violence. After dealing with this on an older child level, I can tell you that yes, I call the police, yes I have him placed outside the home, yes I am sending a very CLEAR message that hitting and beating and abuse is not allowed, not at 8 not ever. It's your choice at this point not his. How do you think the 3 1/2 year old is going to be in the future if his own brother is coming at him in a rage? (just asking not judging) but something to think about. If he has another rage and you don't want to call the police here is what I would do. Take him to the nearest ER and tell them he is a danger to himself and others. THAT is the truth. Yes, I know it's hard, it stinks and you just want him to take a pill and be better. That isn't reality. Making sure that he understands at 8 years old that hitting is wrong, and getting a team of psychiatrists to evaluate his medications while he maybe has a short stay in a psychiatric wing at the hospital, gives you time to regroup, and gives the 3 1/2 year old a break from these episodes. Listen, none of us want to be here, but we are. It's our blessing to have a difficult child good or bad behavior. For me, it's lead me to places and to meet people that I never would have met otherwise. It's given me an opportunity to come here and tell others my story, my son's story and hopefully, maybe, something we had to endure will help someone else. My son is now 17. He's been in more out of home placements than I care to count, he's been on 64 medicines, he's had numerous diagnoses from countless psychiatrists, psychologists and I have nearly lost my life, my home, and my fiance~ due to the stress. I love my son. When the world doesn't and when no one else does - I DO. I know you do too. You love both or your kids right? Right. I took my son the first time to the hospital ER at age 7 because he and another little boy were working in our den on a bicycle and the little neighbor boy stuck his head through the dog door twice asking if he could come in too and help. My son became so enraged he grabbed an antique wheat scythe (sickle) off the wall and went down the street screaming "I'll kill you." I caught him and got him to let go of the sickle, went back to the house, grabbed my purse and shoved him in the car while he was still raging. We went to the ER where after sitting and being whispered about from the nurses for 3 hours he FINALLY went ballistic and tore the waiting room apart, ripped plants out of the planters, tore pictures off the wall, kicked the glass, screamed and carried on so badly they finally FINALLY saw what I saw. All of the rage started because I had NO money for the snack machine. They eventually handcuffed him to the bed and 11 hours later we were at the state hospital for disturbed children. He stayed 6 weeks, got on medications, and came home. In our town getting a diagnosis from the state hospital gave us the start we needed to gain access to other services wherein we got funding to seek outside help, get a shadow for school, get a big brother, a psychologist, and out of home placements when we needed them. THERE IS (in my humble opinion) no home that can provide the structure and stick to a consequence like an Residential Treatment Center (RTC). I don't care how hard you try or how hard you are - a few here have tried, but I've yet to hear one say that it worked with every kid. And my the way....no one is throwing stones at you or your kid. We are ALL here because our children have emotional disabilities. I think I am emotionally disabled anymore. Nope I'm sure of it. Hang in there, get a rhino skin suit.....and get educated about what you CAN do. Get a plan of action together and journal the rages, the foods he's eating, the medications he is taking....or not taking and his behavior at school. ANd by the by....he's not kidding when he says he can only hold it together in one place at a time. Mine could either be an angel at home (mostly) and hell to pay at school or vise-versa. For me financially it was easier to have the good behaved child at school (No leaving work or having stressy phone calls about how wonderful my child wasn't) so I went to the school and asked that there be an IEP written for him where he had NO homework. Ever. He would have a shadow help him in class get it done, and no abnormal meltdowns at home about busting pencils or erasing paper until there were holes in it or throwing books or that 4ton bookbag. We kept a set of books at school and at home and when that didn't work? We went to NO homework. You just have to know what sets him off and work with the school about it. We're all here for ya.....dont be a stranger...or at the least don't be stranger than me (I'd hate to loose my crown) Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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