Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Anger versus hurt
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 561228"><p>Sig - I have been thinking about your post.... and I really need to respond. I think you are taking your difficult children actions very personally which I totally understand, but i think his actions are much less about rejecting you than trying to find and explore his own path. This is a normal part of growing up and separating from parents, and I see it in my easy child daughter and you probably see it in your easy child son. </p><p></p><p>The problem is our difficult children do it in such dramatic self destructive ways that it drives us crazy with worry, where as we can probably look at the ways are PCs separate with a sense of humor. Yet in many ways it is a similar process, only our difficult children are doing things that we really disagree with or disapprove of.</p><p></p><p>My son is homeless and I believe living by panhandling. The idea of living on the street begging goes against everything I was brought up with, and the values I brought him up with. I believe in working hard and moving forward in life, not depending on handouts, and doing nothing but getting high. And yet for now this is what he is doing. It feels crazy to me. Yet I am not taking it personally (any more). It is his life and his choice and those choices have little to do with me (except that I wont give him money to live that life). He is not thinking about rejecting me to do what he is doing. I dont think your son is either... he is living the life he wants for now and any behavior that is rejecting of you is because he thinks by behaving that way he can manipulate you into getting something he wants, or he is lying to protect himself from your disapproval. </p><p></p><p>I think you will feel more peace if you can find a way to let go of this feeling of rejection. I firmly believe that as he finds his own way he will come back to you, and I think you want to leave the door open to him when that happens.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 561228"] Sig - I have been thinking about your post.... and I really need to respond. I think you are taking your difficult children actions very personally which I totally understand, but i think his actions are much less about rejecting you than trying to find and explore his own path. This is a normal part of growing up and separating from parents, and I see it in my easy child daughter and you probably see it in your easy child son. The problem is our difficult children do it in such dramatic self destructive ways that it drives us crazy with worry, where as we can probably look at the ways are PCs separate with a sense of humor. Yet in many ways it is a similar process, only our difficult children are doing things that we really disagree with or disapprove of. My son is homeless and I believe living by panhandling. The idea of living on the street begging goes against everything I was brought up with, and the values I brought him up with. I believe in working hard and moving forward in life, not depending on handouts, and doing nothing but getting high. And yet for now this is what he is doing. It feels crazy to me. Yet I am not taking it personally (any more). It is his life and his choice and those choices have little to do with me (except that I wont give him money to live that life). He is not thinking about rejecting me to do what he is doing. I dont think your son is either... he is living the life he wants for now and any behavior that is rejecting of you is because he thinks by behaving that way he can manipulate you into getting something he wants, or he is lying to protect himself from your disapproval. I think you will feel more peace if you can find a way to let go of this feeling of rejection. I firmly believe that as he finds his own way he will come back to you, and I think you want to leave the door open to him when that happens. TL [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Anger versus hurt
Top