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The Watercooler
ANGRY at my dying father and feeling a tiny bit guilty, but still angry.
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<blockquote data-quote="Woofens" data-source="post: 220830" data-attributes="member: 4425"><p>My bio dad was a HUGE difficult child. He left home at 14, was an alcoholic at that time, met my mom in 1971 when he was traveling with a carnival, she ran away with him less than a week later. They had me in 1972, and she left him in early 73 because he was a heroin addict by that time. I didn't even know him until I turned 18. I moved to AL in 1995 to get to know him. He died of cirrhosis and liver cancer in 1998. He was told by his doctors that if he didn't quit drinking and drugging he wouldn't live to see easy child S. He died 9 days after she was born, went into his final coma of the day she was born. Until the day he went into the final coma, his routine was:</p><p>Get up, take a handful of prescribed pills with orange kool-aid. Light a cigarette, light a joint, crack open a beer. I NEVER saw my dad sober, until he was in the coma.</p><p></p><p>Its been 10 years since Daddy did. I'm still angry that he isn't here. He used to tell me that he missed seeing me grow up, and that he couldn't wait to see his grandchildren grow up. Well, ya blew that, didn't ya? </p><p></p><p>Huge hugs to you. I know exactly where you are at. I just wanted Daddy to pass away and end his suffering, but also to end ours. I miss him and the dad he could have been if he hadn't been an addict every day.</p><p></p><p>Janis</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Woofens, post: 220830, member: 4425"] My bio dad was a HUGE difficult child. He left home at 14, was an alcoholic at that time, met my mom in 1971 when he was traveling with a carnival, she ran away with him less than a week later. They had me in 1972, and she left him in early 73 because he was a heroin addict by that time. I didn't even know him until I turned 18. I moved to AL in 1995 to get to know him. He died of cirrhosis and liver cancer in 1998. He was told by his doctors that if he didn't quit drinking and drugging he wouldn't live to see easy child S. He died 9 days after she was born, went into his final coma of the day she was born. Until the day he went into the final coma, his routine was: Get up, take a handful of prescribed pills with orange kool-aid. Light a cigarette, light a joint, crack open a beer. I NEVER saw my dad sober, until he was in the coma. Its been 10 years since Daddy did. I'm still angry that he isn't here. He used to tell me that he missed seeing me grow up, and that he couldn't wait to see his grandchildren grow up. Well, ya blew that, didn't ya? Huge hugs to you. I know exactly where you are at. I just wanted Daddy to pass away and end his suffering, but also to end ours. I miss him and the dad he could have been if he hadn't been an addict every day. Janis [/QUOTE]
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ANGRY at my dying father and feeling a tiny bit guilty, but still angry.
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