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Another bout with letting go..........
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 619261" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>Recovering,</p><p></p><p>it is wonderful that you are able to recognize these things, and talk them through with people you love. I know that your main experience of letting go has been the letting go of difficult child. Having let go of both a easy child and a difficult child, and in the process of letting go of my other two PCs....I can tell you that is a wonderful description. It is often an episode of dysfunction that leaves a parent angry and disappointed that leads to the recognition that this young person is not making adult choices, good ones or not, and we must back off. That is NOT a sign of badness, or gfgedness, it just is. The letting go feels sad, it feels a bit like failure, it is hard, and yet it is freeing. It is different than letting go of a difficult child. </p><p></p><p>You are so right that letting go is what is supposed to happen now with your difficult child. I often think of the animal kingdom under these circumstances...all those National Geographic shows with the senior lion and the young lions really tearing into each other, trying to kill each other, hurting each other...and then the young one is forced to leave the pride...either leave or kill the old ones and take over. The rupture is scary, hard, intense, potentially fatal. That is what separation from normal adolescents can feel like...and I am comforted to feel that we are playing out our primal roles. The fight, the departure, the new life for both. It is as it should be.</p><p></p><p>What a blessing for both of you that you and SO are wise enough to know this, to see it, to allow the process! How great for young easy child, and for you, that you have been here before and have the tools already! I know my separation from first easy child was full of storms...now that I am detaching from difficult child...I can see how it helps my younger boys, poised themselves to separate from their mom, as they should.</p><p></p><p>I am happy for you, and sad for you. Happy for easy child, who must feel she has wings, wings you gave her. And for you...a whole world of wholeness about to open!!! Yay! I am excited for you!!!!</p><p></p><p>Thank you for sharing with us today,</p><p></p><p>Hugs and affection,</p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 619261, member: 17269"] Recovering, it is wonderful that you are able to recognize these things, and talk them through with people you love. I know that your main experience of letting go has been the letting go of difficult child. Having let go of both a easy child and a difficult child, and in the process of letting go of my other two PCs....I can tell you that is a wonderful description. It is often an episode of dysfunction that leaves a parent angry and disappointed that leads to the recognition that this young person is not making adult choices, good ones or not, and we must back off. That is NOT a sign of badness, or gfgedness, it just is. The letting go feels sad, it feels a bit like failure, it is hard, and yet it is freeing. It is different than letting go of a difficult child. You are so right that letting go is what is supposed to happen now with your difficult child. I often think of the animal kingdom under these circumstances...all those National Geographic shows with the senior lion and the young lions really tearing into each other, trying to kill each other, hurting each other...and then the young one is forced to leave the pride...either leave or kill the old ones and take over. The rupture is scary, hard, intense, potentially fatal. That is what separation from normal adolescents can feel like...and I am comforted to feel that we are playing out our primal roles. The fight, the departure, the new life for both. It is as it should be. What a blessing for both of you that you and SO are wise enough to know this, to see it, to allow the process! How great for young easy child, and for you, that you have been here before and have the tools already! I know my separation from first easy child was full of storms...now that I am detaching from difficult child...I can see how it helps my younger boys, poised themselves to separate from their mom, as they should. I am happy for you, and sad for you. Happy for easy child, who must feel she has wings, wings you gave her. And for you...a whole world of wholeness about to open!!! Yay! I am excited for you!!!! Thank you for sharing with us today, Hugs and affection, Echo [/QUOTE]
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Another bout with letting go..........
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