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Another development, another update. Oy.
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 617682" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Seems that your life has been about either being harmed by your mother or being responsible for your wayward kids....................well, the good news is that is over now and you can discover who Cedar is and what Cedar wants and where Cedar wants to be going now. It's never too late...........like a Tom Robbins quote........"<em>it's never too late to have a happy childhood." </em></p><p></p><p>Waking up from our slumber I think is when we can truthfully access how unkind and in fact, cruel we've been to ourselves............the level of joy we missed...........the whipping post we may have become............the recipient of bad behavior and even the elimination of pleasure and comfort............I understand it personally and see it in others as well. As I have awakened, little by little, I learn to be kinder and more loving towards myself........I too have seen my own self cruelty.........</p><p></p><p>I was just in my granddaughter's bedroom and noticed a hanging mural I bought at a Japanese Garden which she confiscated and hung in her room...........it's lovely and the beautiful writing on it says...........<strong>"</strong><em><strong>you yourself, as much as anyone in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection."</strong> Buddha. </em> Perhaps that is a quote you might make your own on your journey towards loving yourself. It's what I concentrate on now.</p><p></p><p>All of this, our kids, our abusive backgrounds, our relationships, the choices we've made or haven't made, to me, are part of a destiny path which seems all about learning how to love ourselves and then how to love others......and take what we've learned along the way and give it away to others, offer it as our gift born out of our own learning path. My belief, as Nomad mentioned too, is that we have teachers and lessons along the way..........sometimes we are the student as well..............but each life incident, each person we encounter has something to offer us............I recall reading years ago that some of our best teachers are our greatest adversaries............at that time I was going through a bitter divorce from my daughter's Dad............it was clear to me that he was that adversary and realistically he taught me remarkable independence and strength and courage...........not easy, but very beneficial..........my parents and all of the mental illness and struggles that created for me put me on a path I never would have endeavored down if it weren't for that beginning and it was difficult and arduous at times, however, what I have learned and gained far outweighs all the pain.............as with my daughter too..............as Nomad said about her daughter too.............she has taught me very BIG lessons in how to set boundaries, how to care more for myself and focus on me, really, how to love myself. For me, looking at all of it as life lessons which enable me to become who I was meant to become makes the most sense to me. </p><p></p><p>Right now, for me, all the gossamer strings which were disconnected are all coming together now.........forming a solid base of self love, gratitude, peace and a sense of play. I completely believe my daughter was the missing piece in my own history............a path she and I had to address for both of us to be liberated from our inauthentic roles..........how she continues on her path now is entirely up to her...........I made my choice in that and I chose myself...............it sounds weird to say that in a way, and yet I know in my heart that that is the choice that freed me..........and her too........I think it had to be weighty on her to have my well being rest on her shoulders.</p><p></p><p>It's a new day Cedar. New Sheriffs, new possibilities, new relationships, new outlook, new perceptions, new boundaries, new knowledge, new opportunities.......................we are quite fortunate to have lived through the darkness and made it out into the light...........it's time to celebrate and really acknowledge what we've done and put our feet into the next step with a new sense of excitement, passion and joy..............</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 617682, member: 13542"] Seems that your life has been about either being harmed by your mother or being responsible for your wayward kids....................well, the good news is that is over now and you can discover who Cedar is and what Cedar wants and where Cedar wants to be going now. It's never too late...........like a Tom Robbins quote........"[I]it's never too late to have a happy childhood." [/I] Waking up from our slumber I think is when we can truthfully access how unkind and in fact, cruel we've been to ourselves............the level of joy we missed...........the whipping post we may have become............the recipient of bad behavior and even the elimination of pleasure and comfort............I understand it personally and see it in others as well. As I have awakened, little by little, I learn to be kinder and more loving towards myself........I too have seen my own self cruelty......... I was just in my granddaughter's bedroom and noticed a hanging mural I bought at a Japanese Garden which she confiscated and hung in her room...........it's lovely and the beautiful writing on it says...........[B]"[/B][I][B]you yourself, as much as anyone in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection."[/B] Buddha. [/I] Perhaps that is a quote you might make your own on your journey towards loving yourself. It's what I concentrate on now. All of this, our kids, our abusive backgrounds, our relationships, the choices we've made or haven't made, to me, are part of a destiny path which seems all about learning how to love ourselves and then how to love others......and take what we've learned along the way and give it away to others, offer it as our gift born out of our own learning path. My belief, as Nomad mentioned too, is that we have teachers and lessons along the way..........sometimes we are the student as well..............but each life incident, each person we encounter has something to offer us............I recall reading years ago that some of our best teachers are our greatest adversaries............at that time I was going through a bitter divorce from my daughter's Dad............it was clear to me that he was that adversary and realistically he taught me remarkable independence and strength and courage...........not easy, but very beneficial..........my parents and all of the mental illness and struggles that created for me put me on a path I never would have endeavored down if it weren't for that beginning and it was difficult and arduous at times, however, what I have learned and gained far outweighs all the pain.............as with my daughter too..............as Nomad said about her daughter too.............she has taught me very BIG lessons in how to set boundaries, how to care more for myself and focus on me, really, how to love myself. For me, looking at all of it as life lessons which enable me to become who I was meant to become makes the most sense to me. Right now, for me, all the gossamer strings which were disconnected are all coming together now.........forming a solid base of self love, gratitude, peace and a sense of play. I completely believe my daughter was the missing piece in my own history............a path she and I had to address for both of us to be liberated from our inauthentic roles..........how she continues on her path now is entirely up to her...........I made my choice in that and I chose myself...............it sounds weird to say that in a way, and yet I know in my heart that that is the choice that freed me..........and her too........I think it had to be weighty on her to have my well being rest on her shoulders. It's a new day Cedar. New Sheriffs, new possibilities, new relationships, new outlook, new perceptions, new boundaries, new knowledge, new opportunities.......................we are quite fortunate to have lived through the darkness and made it out into the light...........it's time to celebrate and really acknowledge what we've done and put our feet into the next step with a new sense of excitement, passion and joy.............. [/QUOTE]
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