I mean, clearly I don't know what G-d wants, but personally I don't think this cycle of what New Leaf calls, wash, rinse, repeat is good for us. But that doesn't mean we give up.
Well. A while back you thought of traveling to Phoenix. I know this must sound like lunacy. Each time I went to the metro where my son was homeless, even when he assured me he would meet me, it was a bust. He didn't show. All it was for me was a few hour train ride each way. I am of the impression that Phoenix is very far away from where you live. Even across the country.
I don't think it was one bit foolish to ask the people to pray, to love him, to watch for him. Look at the response you got!!
I know. But I don't think this is an off/on switch. I think there are other notches on the dial. We tried again, letting my son come back to a rental apartment I own. It was a disaster. He left. But that does not mean that I have to "let him go" or "give up."
My son is not using Fentanyl as far as I know but he has other very high risk factors. He has untreated Hepatitis B. He is brain injured. He does use other drugs. I live with the fear he will die. But I don't have to either deaden myself or give him up. I don't want to be dead and I don't want to give up or give him up.
I don't know the answer. I think it's reassuring that Josh hangs out where he is known, with what is familiar and where he can be found. Josh knows you know where he is. In a peculiar kind of way, he is seeking safety. I don't know how people recover from Fentanyl. There are a lot of things i don't know about Josh, like for one, where he gets the money to buy the drug. My son is on SSI. He uses that money.
I guess what I am trying to say is the issue here is we have to find another notch on that dial. So that we aren't in constant freefall. But I don't think the answer is letting go. I really don't. Nor do I think, Beta, that you're capable of it. I really don't. Love, Copa
PS I don't think this was a "failed attempt." Every contact reminds Josh one more time how much he is loved.