Beta, I can only imagine your disappointment when the officer made contact with Josh and you weren’t granted that opportunity to speak to him, but maybe he doesn’t want to be saved, not now anyway. Maybe one day he will, but as you know better than anyone, that he wont reach out until/if he is ready.
I don’t think your silly for wanting people to be compassionate towards him, but I also don’t think it’s a bad idea at all to take a step back from the idea of travelling looking for him and giving yourself a break from waiting by the phone, posting on social media.
You need to mind you too, and not use up all your time and energy waiting, hoping, trying. Use that energy to be kind to yourself and in the knowledge that police will be in touch with updates and that Josh can reach out through various different libraries if and when he wants to. Who knows, maybe he’ll be more inclined if he thinks it’s his choice rather than feeling that’s what’s expected of him.
Much love and prayers to you Beta and Josh 