I think Josh must feel shame. I think he must want that drug very, very badly. I don't know what will intervene to stop that cycle, but I hope that he will be arrested for something small, and that way given treatment. I say that because I worked in psychiatry in prison working with thousands of people who went off drugs that way. But Josh seems like my son, in that they don't act out to the level that brings arrest and incarceration.
What I do know is this is out of our hands. I used to feel like my heart was outside of my body walking outside on the street. Now I don't. I feel my heart is back inside me. I feel moments of intense pain and sometimes even dread, but I feel peace a whole lot of the time, and I am able to concentrate more on the pain of my own life and how to alleviate it. So, I know Beta, that you can do this. I know that because I am. Love Copa
