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You've written about doing that before, and it just breaks my heart that that happened to you. That's what I fear would happen even if we could find him in a city like Phoenix with all the homeless population. I couldn't handle that. It would just be more trauma on top of trauma for me.  So until he decides that he wants to talk to us, I can't do anything.  And yes, we live across the country, just outside Atlanta, Georgia.


I actually had two people who responded with something like, "Oh, you don't want to bother getting on a plane and finding your son but you want us to look out for him and help him?"  So I kind of wondered about whether I was wrong to do it.  


I'm not sure how he gets all the money he uses, and honestly, I'm afraid to think too much about it, but I know some of it comes from selling things he shoplifts. 




I like that way of thinking about it.  And you are probably right, I don't think I'm capable of it.  I think it would be more painful in a lot of ways.


Yes, I think so too. At least part of what he feels I believe is shame.  I also wonder if he has just given up and given in. As far as being arrested, a police officer told me he would have to commit a felony before he would be arrested. I pray sometimes that he would be arrested so he would be off the streets and not have easy access to the drug.  So far, it hasn't happened.



Thank you for saying that.  I will try to keep that perspective.


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