I have much better relationships with my adult daughter (44) and adult son (almost 27). I am far from perfect and they remind me when I'm being overbearing or worrying too much. As I've said before, my troubled son was hit by a car while riding his bike as a young teenager and I prayed so hard on the way to the hospital - that he would live. He was somewhat difficult before the accident but his behavior worsened after the accident and then there were years of uncontrolled seizures (controlled now as long as he keeps up with his medications). (It's hard to describe how it feels to think your child has died in an accident - and I felt that in my soul on the drive to the hospital. That feeling doesn't leave....) He's so smart - but so stupid at the same time. His life is a pattern that repeats itself over and over and over. When things are going relatively well, you wait for the other shoe to drop. I sent him money for one more week of rent which his landlord thankfully agreed to - for the purpose of contacting shelters and looking for work. It ends there so he needs to make the most of this gift of time out of the cold with a roof over his head and a shower. There aren't many days to this reprieve and I PRAY he uses them to his advantage. I couldn't leave him on the street in 10 degree cold where he'd die. He will either use this time to get himself some help or..... he won't. Of course there is some instant relief to knowing he isn't out in the cold freezing - but the clock is ticking so the reprieve will be brief unless he wants to do what he needs to in order to be safe. I thank you for your words. All of them.
And "duh" on the SVD. Sometimes my brain is in sloth mode.