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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 586030" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Good morning NN, gosh I am almost speechless hearing your story, you are really caught in an alternative universe of mental illness. I am so very sorry. You have it coming at you from all ends and your own rape just makes all of it so difficult to bear I'm sure. </p><p></p><p>Yes, the painful death of our dreams for our family, that is a really hard one to let go of. And, not one of us is a perfect parent, that doesn't exist, we all just do our best, but nothing prepares us for mental illness, the lying, the manipulations, the secrets, the violence, it is crazy-making and contains so much suffering for anyone who lives within that framework. I wish there was some magic bullet I could share with you which would ease your pain for you. I too am a product of a family where mental illness reigned, mother, father, sister, brother...........and even without a diagnosis of my own, there is survivor guilt. Like you I've had decades and decades of therapy to get a grip on that and heal. Then I have one child and she inherits the issues. I've been surrounded by mental illness my whole life. </p><p></p><p>I can't presume to know what will bring you some peace.........for me it was a long path of self love and self care. Along with therapy, I've gone to many, many healers, what's helped the most is acupuncture because it so lowers stress levels and brings the body and mind back to balance. Yoga, massage, therapy groups with other parents dealing with a mentally ill child, that was extremely helpful, just to listen to stories that so mirrored mine. Learning to let go of any guilt, understanding that there is only so much I can do and anything else is enabling, doing the very best I knew how to do for my daughter, giving her all the tools she would need and then letting go. Seems in many ways, my life has been about letting go, detaching from my family so I could stay sane.</p><p></p><p>Writing your feelings, fears and terrible pain here on this board is also very, very helpful. The words go out to others, like yourself, living their own form of hell.............and get understood, heard, acknowledged and accepted..............with a world out there which does none of that, this becomes a safe haven to let it all go. We can't fix it, but we can offer compassion, empathy, understanding and that amazing phrase, " I know how you feel, I get it and I'm sorry." </p><p></p><p>NN, I know how you feel, I get it and I'm sorry................</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 586030, member: 13542"] Good morning NN, gosh I am almost speechless hearing your story, you are really caught in an alternative universe of mental illness. I am so very sorry. You have it coming at you from all ends and your own rape just makes all of it so difficult to bear I'm sure. Yes, the painful death of our dreams for our family, that is a really hard one to let go of. And, not one of us is a perfect parent, that doesn't exist, we all just do our best, but nothing prepares us for mental illness, the lying, the manipulations, the secrets, the violence, it is crazy-making and contains so much suffering for anyone who lives within that framework. I wish there was some magic bullet I could share with you which would ease your pain for you. I too am a product of a family where mental illness reigned, mother, father, sister, brother...........and even without a diagnosis of my own, there is survivor guilt. Like you I've had decades and decades of therapy to get a grip on that and heal. Then I have one child and she inherits the issues. I've been surrounded by mental illness my whole life. I can't presume to know what will bring you some peace.........for me it was a long path of self love and self care. Along with therapy, I've gone to many, many healers, what's helped the most is acupuncture because it so lowers stress levels and brings the body and mind back to balance. Yoga, massage, therapy groups with other parents dealing with a mentally ill child, that was extremely helpful, just to listen to stories that so mirrored mine. Learning to let go of any guilt, understanding that there is only so much I can do and anything else is enabling, doing the very best I knew how to do for my daughter, giving her all the tools she would need and then letting go. Seems in many ways, my life has been about letting go, detaching from my family so I could stay sane. Writing your feelings, fears and terrible pain here on this board is also very, very helpful. The words go out to others, like yourself, living their own form of hell.............and get understood, heard, acknowledged and accepted..............with a world out there which does none of that, this becomes a safe haven to let it all go. We can't fix it, but we can offer compassion, empathy, understanding and that amazing phrase, " I know how you feel, I get it and I'm sorry." NN, I know how you feel, I get it and I'm sorry................ [/QUOTE]
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