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Family of Origin
Another point of view on Shunning. And shunning vs. no contact
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 674791" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Leafie, I can only tell you what I did, and it's not the answer for everybody. What does "your own blood" mean anyway? In a very real way, if we needed a blood transfusion somebody off the street with compatible blood could give it. What is "blood?" Beaver Cleaver is overrated and outdated and he's probably divorced <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p></p><p>I decided to try again. After all, not everyone disliked me or thought I was awful. My first husband was not the best relationship for me, but we didn't hate each other. My kids didn't hate me. My friends didn't hate me. I think I thought all along in two ways---if my FOO didn't like me, who would? Then another part of me said that if I was so terrible, why did other people like me? <em><strong>Nobody</strong></em> likes awful people.</p><p></p><p>When I met my second husband, I was leery and backed out a few times, but I was willing to try and it paid off in spades. If we don't try, we will never get the validation, love and feeling of wholeness that we want. I feel whole. I do not connect that with my DNA family. They are strangers in my life by now. I adopted kids. I don't feel DNA is that important. I feel whole, needed, a part of, and an important member of my chosen family, something I never did with my FOO and something I could never have achieved if I had been unwilling to try again.</p><p></p><p>I guess I'll never be interested in looking into my "family" tree as I don't feel connected to my DNA and that's ok. I don't have to be. I am very much my own person.</p><p></p><p>Anyhow, we are all different and I hope you can find what works for you <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 674791, member: 1550"] Leafie, I can only tell you what I did, and it's not the answer for everybody. What does "your own blood" mean anyway? In a very real way, if we needed a blood transfusion somebody off the street with compatible blood could give it. What is "blood?" Beaver Cleaver is overrated and outdated and he's probably divorced ;) I decided to try again. After all, not everyone disliked me or thought I was awful. My first husband was not the best relationship for me, but we didn't hate each other. My kids didn't hate me. My friends didn't hate me. I think I thought all along in two ways---if my FOO didn't like me, who would? Then another part of me said that if I was so terrible, why did other people like me? [I][B]Nobody[/B][/I] likes awful people. When I met my second husband, I was leery and backed out a few times, but I was willing to try and it paid off in spades. If we don't try, we will never get the validation, love and feeling of wholeness that we want. I feel whole. I do not connect that with my DNA family. They are strangers in my life by now. I adopted kids. I don't feel DNA is that important. I feel whole, needed, a part of, and an important member of my chosen family, something I never did with my FOO and something I could never have achieved if I had been unwilling to try again. I guess I'll never be interested in looking into my "family" tree as I don't feel connected to my DNA and that's ok. I don't have to be. I am very much my own person. Anyhow, we are all different and I hope you can find what works for you ;) [/QUOTE]
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Another point of view on Shunning. And shunning vs. no contact
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