Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Another rough day...
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 649699" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Lil, my particular post was actually a response (not an argument, but a response) to Albatross, not you. If indeed my children who try to fly right need help, I do give it to them. The interesting thing is, those adult children do not seem to need much help and want to be independent and are worried about ME now and I think that's how your son will be at 50 if he straightens out his life. Sure, I voluntarily send Princess extra $$$ and gifts-for-no-reason for Buddha Baby. I WANT to. They don't ask me to do it. And when we talk on Skype, which is our usual communication since the baby is so much fun, it is about both of us and what's going on in our lives, not about Princess and how the world has done her wrong and how she needs money, etc. It's a different relationship than, say, talking to Bart, who mostly talks about himself and has no interest in anyone else.Nobody voluntarily feels like sending him anything, trust me. He will ask his Dad if he needs sometimes unbelievable amounts of money, but, if I'm being honest, the custody battle was important. Junior is crazy about Bart and I'm glad Bart got to keep Bart 50% of the time. Other than for reasons like that, he doesn't ask ex for money. Not that the money was small potatoes.</p><p></p><p>You have never 100% allowed your son to live without your influence to see what he will do. That's scary, but it' sends them a message: "I really do have to grow up." I like doing it that way. On the other hand, there is nothing wrong with providing food, but like PasAJes4 said, probably at least 1/3rd of any money given goes for cigarettes. They don't bring that part up. And if your son is spending lots of money on weed and spice, he won't bring that up either. But I'll bet that is something he manages to pay for and continue to use. I could be wrong, of course. </p><p></p><p>Hugs and hoping for the best for all of you and I do think you are doing well. You can't change your own personality and sometimes the desire to help is very strong. Been there.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 649699, member: 1550"] Lil, my particular post was actually a response (not an argument, but a response) to Albatross, not you. If indeed my children who try to fly right need help, I do give it to them. The interesting thing is, those adult children do not seem to need much help and want to be independent and are worried about ME now and I think that's how your son will be at 50 if he straightens out his life. Sure, I voluntarily send Princess extra $$$ and gifts-for-no-reason for Buddha Baby. I WANT to. They don't ask me to do it. And when we talk on Skype, which is our usual communication since the baby is so much fun, it is about both of us and what's going on in our lives, not about Princess and how the world has done her wrong and how she needs money, etc. It's a different relationship than, say, talking to Bart, who mostly talks about himself and has no interest in anyone else.Nobody voluntarily feels like sending him anything, trust me. He will ask his Dad if he needs sometimes unbelievable amounts of money, but, if I'm being honest, the custody battle was important. Junior is crazy about Bart and I'm glad Bart got to keep Bart 50% of the time. Other than for reasons like that, he doesn't ask ex for money. Not that the money was small potatoes. You have never 100% allowed your son to live without your influence to see what he will do. That's scary, but it' sends them a message: "I really do have to grow up." I like doing it that way. On the other hand, there is nothing wrong with providing food, but like PasAJes4 said, probably at least 1/3rd of any money given goes for cigarettes. They don't bring that part up. And if your son is spending lots of money on weed and spice, he won't bring that up either. But I'll bet that is something he manages to pay for and continue to use. I could be wrong, of course. Hugs and hoping for the best for all of you and I do think you are doing well. You can't change your own personality and sometimes the desire to help is very strong. Been there. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Another rough day...
Top