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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 620093" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Wow, RE! You have come so far. You have literally taken off the shackles and chains our difficult children put on us, emotionally of course. I think the older they get, the more we see that this is who they are, the hope that anything will change fades, we gain acceptance. I think it's a lot like the four steps of grieving until you get to acceptance. Is that what you meant? I had to go through the grieving stages with 36, but that happened in far apart increments, and then with Scott. How I felt about Scott was probably similar to how one feels when somebody dies. </p><p></p><p>I think as soon as we realize that our adult child is not a person we'd even want to know if he weren't our child, the grieving begins. The grieving for that child with the bright eyes and engaging smile that we wanted to conquer the world. And then to see where he is now...either an emotional disaster or an emotional disaster PLUS a drug addict PLUS a moocher PLUS...etc. etc. etc. With Scott I had to face the unusual, "He is never coming back" when I still mourned for him to come back. Funny how it turned around. Now I don't want him back. And I wouldn't know how to handle it if he did come back.</p><p></p><p>Yep. Maybe MANY of us have come far...and this group of posters are so full of love, warmth and support. And wisdom.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 620093, member: 1550"] Wow, RE! You have come so far. You have literally taken off the shackles and chains our difficult children put on us, emotionally of course. I think the older they get, the more we see that this is who they are, the hope that anything will change fades, we gain acceptance. I think it's a lot like the four steps of grieving until you get to acceptance. Is that what you meant? I had to go through the grieving stages with 36, but that happened in far apart increments, and then with Scott. How I felt about Scott was probably similar to how one feels when somebody dies. I think as soon as we realize that our adult child is not a person we'd even want to know if he weren't our child, the grieving begins. The grieving for that child with the bright eyes and engaging smile that we wanted to conquer the world. And then to see where he is now...either an emotional disaster or an emotional disaster PLUS a drug addict PLUS a moocher PLUS...etc. etc. etc. With Scott I had to face the unusual, "He is never coming back" when I still mourned for him to come back. Funny how it turned around. Now I don't want him back. And I wouldn't know how to handle it if he did come back. Yep. Maybe MANY of us have come far...and this group of posters are so full of love, warmth and support. And wisdom. [/QUOTE]
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