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another therapist in the works
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 198173" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>You spelled it out well. If you are still uncertain, copy and paste what you wrote in your first post on tis thread, into your diary. Then if at a later stage you have problems with tis guy, print it out and tell him, "Our first phone call, you agreed to the following..." then show him your notes. If he says that keeping notes like this is extremely anal, agree with him but tell him it is the result of being misled too many times, and needing to cut through the crud fast so as to not have more time wasted than absolutely necessary.</p><p></p><p>If you were REALLY concerned you could hand him a copy of your notes at your first meeting and ask him to sign it as a contract between you; but that might be a bit too confronting.</p><p></p><p>The other thing which I HAVE done under similar circumstances, is taken my notes and put them in a letter to the person.</p><p>Dear ....,</p><p>Thank you for talking to me on [list date]. As we discussed, my concerns are [list what you want addressed]. I was very pleased that you said you would [list what he agreed to do]. This really encourages me to be positive about the directions my son's therapy will take this year."</p><p></p><p>Between the lines the letter says several things:</p><p></p><p>1) I take good notes and have a memory like an elephant's.</p><p></p><p>2) I'm meticulous about paying attention to small detail and following through.</p><p></p><p>3) I'm watching you, but for now am very willing to work with you, providing you stick to what you agreed.</p><p></p><p>If you are not already (and from your post, it seems you are) - get into the habit of taking detailed notes even for things which seem trivial. You can always wipe them later if they're not needed. For me it's now habit - when getting messages off my phone, I immediately begin to take notes even before I know who the call was. I start with the time (the phone tells me when the caller rang) and then the name. Then the issue, and the return phone number. I can have scraps of paper with a lot of irrelevant messages around (which I do throw away) but if it turns out to be someone I've been trying to talk to for months, who just happened to return my call while I was out - I still log that they called me back and left a message.</p><p>If I try to call them and get their voicemail, same thing. I log that I tried to call AND left a message. They can't return a call if I didn't leave a message, and six months later you can't claim you left a message, if you can't remember for sure. Notes make it clear whether you did or you didn't. And whether you left a message or not can make a big difference in so many ways - some people are legally bound to make contact with you, after you leave a message.</p><p>That's only an example - but keeping a log of calls plus what was said either way can make it much easier to detail exactly what has been happening, later on.</p><p></p><p>It seems tedious (it IS tedious!) but it does pay off. Keeping a record on the computer also makes it easy for you to use "find" as a tool to quickly get to the bit of information you need in a hurry. So if you're on the phone to a particular therapist and he says, "I never told you that!" you can quickly use "find" on his name and maybe a key word and tell him the date he said it, plus exactly what he said it in reference to. Remind him of other things discussed at the same time to jog his memory.</p><p></p><p>Scares the crud out of them!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 198173, member: 1991"] You spelled it out well. If you are still uncertain, copy and paste what you wrote in your first post on tis thread, into your diary. Then if at a later stage you have problems with tis guy, print it out and tell him, "Our first phone call, you agreed to the following..." then show him your notes. If he says that keeping notes like this is extremely anal, agree with him but tell him it is the result of being misled too many times, and needing to cut through the crud fast so as to not have more time wasted than absolutely necessary. If you were REALLY concerned you could hand him a copy of your notes at your first meeting and ask him to sign it as a contract between you; but that might be a bit too confronting. The other thing which I HAVE done under similar circumstances, is taken my notes and put them in a letter to the person. Dear ...., Thank you for talking to me on [list date]. As we discussed, my concerns are [list what you want addressed]. I was very pleased that you said you would [list what he agreed to do]. This really encourages me to be positive about the directions my son's therapy will take this year." Between the lines the letter says several things: 1) I take good notes and have a memory like an elephant's. 2) I'm meticulous about paying attention to small detail and following through. 3) I'm watching you, but for now am very willing to work with you, providing you stick to what you agreed. If you are not already (and from your post, it seems you are) - get into the habit of taking detailed notes even for things which seem trivial. You can always wipe them later if they're not needed. For me it's now habit - when getting messages off my phone, I immediately begin to take notes even before I know who the call was. I start with the time (the phone tells me when the caller rang) and then the name. Then the issue, and the return phone number. I can have scraps of paper with a lot of irrelevant messages around (which I do throw away) but if it turns out to be someone I've been trying to talk to for months, who just happened to return my call while I was out - I still log that they called me back and left a message. If I try to call them and get their voicemail, same thing. I log that I tried to call AND left a message. They can't return a call if I didn't leave a message, and six months later you can't claim you left a message, if you can't remember for sure. Notes make it clear whether you did or you didn't. And whether you left a message or not can make a big difference in so many ways - some people are legally bound to make contact with you, after you leave a message. That's only an example - but keeping a log of calls plus what was said either way can make it much easier to detail exactly what has been happening, later on. It seems tedious (it IS tedious!) but it does pay off. Keeping a record on the computer also makes it easy for you to use "find" as a tool to quickly get to the bit of information you need in a hurry. So if you're on the phone to a particular therapist and he says, "I never told you that!" you can quickly use "find" on his name and maybe a key word and tell him the date he said it, plus exactly what he said it in reference to. Remind him of other things discussed at the same time to jog his memory. Scares the crud out of them! Marg [/QUOTE]
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