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Another Thread About Lying--Please Add Your Theory...
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 324933" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>You know, I think there is a difference in lying if the child lies to the parents only but tells his friends the truth. In my case, the lying transcended my family and I lost friends too due to it and not until I lost somebody REALLY dear to me did it really register that lying is a huge betrayal to other people, and I finally learned and stopped.</p><p></p><p>We need to add Lying All the Time to the DSM. Like borderline personality disorder, I think it would really respond to a sort of textbook teaching sort of therapy. I don't think regular therapy is much good after it becomes a way of life, but I do think that I'm not the only one who had this problem without the insight to realize it would make my own life much better if I'd only stop. </p><p></p><p>I don't believe it's a "moral" issue so I don't believe that talk therapy or going to church does any good. I was a very "moral" child and teen. I was very strict about what I would and would not do. I refused to have sex outside of marriage (indeed was a virgin when I got married). It was both a moral and respect thing. I "got" that I couldn't know if somebody loved or respected me if I slept around. I refused to take drugs, even marijuana, or drink because I thought, in a very moral way, that this was bad for people's minds and spirits and I refused to breach my morals. BUT...I lied like there was no tomorrow. And for many reasons. And for no reason at all. It is one big reason that, although I never got the diagnosis, I'm sure I have Borderline (BPD) and that it has got better due to all the therapy I did have and my own enlightened "aha" moment about the lying (I was in my early 30's...it did not come fast).</p><p></p><p>I think therapists need to focus on the symptom of lying. It is so detrimental to your family life, your friendships, and your jobs. For me it didn't spiral into stealing (I shoplifted some, but not a lot and felt very guilty). But I think it can turn into other things.</p><p></p><p>So I'm in favor of making Excessive Pointless Lying a secondary disorder because it is quite disabling.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 324933, member: 1550"] You know, I think there is a difference in lying if the child lies to the parents only but tells his friends the truth. In my case, the lying transcended my family and I lost friends too due to it and not until I lost somebody REALLY dear to me did it really register that lying is a huge betrayal to other people, and I finally learned and stopped. We need to add Lying All the Time to the DSM. Like borderline personality disorder, I think it would really respond to a sort of textbook teaching sort of therapy. I don't think regular therapy is much good after it becomes a way of life, but I do think that I'm not the only one who had this problem without the insight to realize it would make my own life much better if I'd only stop. I don't believe it's a "moral" issue so I don't believe that talk therapy or going to church does any good. I was a very "moral" child and teen. I was very strict about what I would and would not do. I refused to have sex outside of marriage (indeed was a virgin when I got married). It was both a moral and respect thing. I "got" that I couldn't know if somebody loved or respected me if I slept around. I refused to take drugs, even marijuana, or drink because I thought, in a very moral way, that this was bad for people's minds and spirits and I refused to breach my morals. BUT...I lied like there was no tomorrow. And for many reasons. And for no reason at all. It is one big reason that, although I never got the diagnosis, I'm sure I have Borderline (BPD) and that it has got better due to all the therapy I did have and my own enlightened "aha" moment about the lying (I was in my early 30's...it did not come fast). I think therapists need to focus on the symptom of lying. It is so detrimental to your family life, your friendships, and your jobs. For me it didn't spiral into stealing (I shoplifted some, but not a lot and felt very guilty). But I think it can turn into other things. So I'm in favor of making Excessive Pointless Lying a secondary disorder because it is quite disabling. [/QUOTE]
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