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Parent Emeritus
Another update on M, & thoughts on Desmond Tutu
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<blockquote data-quote="Suz" data-source="post: 122215" data-attributes="member: 29"><p>Well, in this post you pretty much answered the question I asked in your last post. Guess I should have looked before I asked the question. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/Graemlins/rofl.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":rofl:" title="rofl :rofl:" data-shortname=":rofl:" /></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I know for me, the most liberating thing I've done for myself is "accept". Maybe that's my version of "forgive." It's a long haul and I still slide, but for the most part I do accept Rob for what he is and the limitations he has and has dealt with; accept the past for what it was, and to stop beating myself up for things I might have done better. And I've really worked hard to let it go and not obsess over memories and events too much and for too long either. </p><p> </p><p>It has helped to keep our conversations and visits short and relatively superficial. I expect little or nothing so if it's good I'm genuinely thrilled.</p><p> </p><p>I had to let go of the resentment I felt. I was so bitter and so obsessed with wanting an apology from him it was killing me and it was killing the possibility of having any kind of relationship in the future with Rob. I finally decided that having a future with him was more important than my devastated feelings about the past.</p><p> </p><p>Witz, M might never apologize. Rob never has. It's the conceit of youth. Can you forgive/accept that about him and move past it to forge a new relationship with him?</p><p> </p><p>Hugs,</p><p>Suz</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Suz, post: 122215, member: 29"] Well, in this post you pretty much answered the question I asked in your last post. Guess I should have looked before I asked the question. :rofl: I know for me, the most liberating thing I've done for myself is "accept". Maybe that's my version of "forgive." It's a long haul and I still slide, but for the most part I do accept Rob for what he is and the limitations he has and has dealt with; accept the past for what it was, and to stop beating myself up for things I might have done better. And I've really worked hard to let it go and not obsess over memories and events too much and for too long either. It has helped to keep our conversations and visits short and relatively superficial. I expect little or nothing so if it's good I'm genuinely thrilled. I had to let go of the resentment I felt. I was so bitter and so obsessed with wanting an apology from him it was killing me and it was killing the possibility of having any kind of relationship in the future with Rob. I finally decided that having a future with him was more important than my devastated feelings about the past. Witz, M might never apologize. Rob never has. It's the conceit of youth. Can you forgive/accept that about him and move past it to forge a new relationship with him? Hugs, Suz [/QUOTE]
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Another update on M, & thoughts on Desmond Tutu
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