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Parent Emeritus
Another update on M, & thoughts on Desmond Tutu
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 122510" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>Forgive? Yes. Accept? I'm fuzzy on what that means. I think I <em>am</em> much less obsessed with "What if he doesn't apologize?" I feel I'm ready to be comfortable with forgiving him, but not to be stupid about it. At least, I'd like to think so. To quote another great philosopher ( <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> ), Gomer Pyle, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." So I guess the answer is yes, I forgive him without an apology. And honestly, I have moved on. But he doesn't enjoy the carte blanche trust he would get with a sincere apology. So, I agree with Mikey. It's a matter of verbiage. I forgive him, and I can move on with or without him. Whatever M does, it will be a different relationship, but the ball is in his court. Maybe one day we will be close. But not today, and I don't have to feel badly about it if we don't become close again. As his mom, all I have is hope that he will be strong and happy.</p><p></p><p>by the way, no offense taken Mikey. I'm fine if people feel that God gets retribution. My belief is more in that there is Karma, (maybe God is Karma) and if I waste my time trying to make something bad happen to someone else - or "an eye for an eye", I deserve some bad Karma and it will happen.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 122510, member: 99"] Forgive? Yes. Accept? I'm fuzzy on what that means. I think I [i]am[/i] much less obsessed with "What if he doesn't apologize?" I feel I'm ready to be comfortable with forgiving him, but not to be stupid about it. At least, I'd like to think so. To quote another great philosopher ( ;) ), Gomer Pyle, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." So I guess the answer is yes, I forgive him without an apology. And honestly, I have moved on. But he doesn't enjoy the carte blanche trust he would get with a sincere apology. So, I agree with Mikey. It's a matter of verbiage. I forgive him, and I can move on with or without him. Whatever M does, it will be a different relationship, but the ball is in his court. Maybe one day we will be close. But not today, and I don't have to feel badly about it if we don't become close again. As his mom, all I have is hope that he will be strong and happy. by the way, no offense taken Mikey. I'm fine if people feel that God gets retribution. My belief is more in that there is Karma, (maybe God is Karma) and if I waste my time trying to make something bad happen to someone else - or "an eye for an eye", I deserve some bad Karma and it will happen. [/QUOTE]
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Another update on M, & thoughts on Desmond Tutu
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