Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Antisocial Personality Disorder Diagnosis of my 18 year old son
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="asldogs" data-source="post: 432048" data-attributes="member: 12055"><p>Thank you for your reply! It is helpful to read and hear support and understanding from other experienced parents.</p><p></p><p>Yes, my son has been in therapy ever since I adopted him 6 years ago. However, now that he is expected to go on his own, he has chosen to skip the appointments and go skate boarding or sit at home texting instead. I use to take him but I work an hour away now and he is old enough to get to his appointment on his own, but has blown them off. Today is the appointment to discuss how and where his options are to move out. He just sent me a text letting me know he is not going and he is not moving out. </p><p></p><p>I have given him the requirements to continue living with me. They were verbalized AND written down on notebook, still displayed daily on the kitchen table. 1) get a job or daily volunteer 2) talk to me with respect and consideration 3) join the summer swim team, something he said he wanted to do again 3) do his daily chore schedule without being told. I dont think that is alot to ask, but he has not accomplished any of the above in the last three weeks.</p><p></p><p>As an adopted son, he has always presented challenges but has always been able to work through them, learn from them and express remorse. About 6 months ago, I noticed a change. He has stolen from family friends (laptops, cigarettes, bluetooth, money) He has increased lies and withholding of truth. Verbal abuse, very mean hurtful cussing comments. leaves home without telling me where and with who. Refuses to communicate any of this, saying "I'm 18 now and I have a life." He just turned 18 May 9. He is not graduating from high school. Too many failed courses and has refused to make up any in two years. He had opportunity to use computer program to make up failed credits but never did, so now he will not graduate and does not have a diploma. I could go on and on... but the biggest most serious change I've noticed, is the lack of remorse. That is when I asked his therapist to do another evaluation. He had not had one since before I adopted him. </p><p></p><p>The diagnosis of Antisocial Personality Disorder is a disturbing diagnosis. Not a good prognosis, because part of the profile is they dont think they need to change. they blame everyone else and think they are fine. Therefore, usually dont seek treatment or therapy. My son has begun to behave exactly like the profile. I have read and talked to professionals, trying to educate myself as much as possible. I think I know quite a bit about the diagnosis but what I dont feel confident about is how does a parent continue to love and support an adult child with this diagnosis? What is the best way to interact and communicate with him? Obviously, stay calm and emotionally detached... which I am able to do now. Actually, learning about his diagnosis has helped realize it is not me, I now am able to NOT take his behavior personally. </p><p></p><p>So... back to my original question... how does a parent prepare to "kick" out her son? He will push me to the point of needing to have him escorted out. I know it. He will not leave on his own. but I am determined! He will leave! I have reached my threshold! I can't continue to lock things up in my bedroom... I can't trust anything he says to me... etc. I told him he is my son and he will always be my son, but I can not tolerate living with him anymore unless he makes some major changes. Those changes are not happening and I predict they will not happen for another several years, IF ever.</p><p></p><p>asldogs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="asldogs, post: 432048, member: 12055"] Thank you for your reply! It is helpful to read and hear support and understanding from other experienced parents. Yes, my son has been in therapy ever since I adopted him 6 years ago. However, now that he is expected to go on his own, he has chosen to skip the appointments and go skate boarding or sit at home texting instead. I use to take him but I work an hour away now and he is old enough to get to his appointment on his own, but has blown them off. Today is the appointment to discuss how and where his options are to move out. He just sent me a text letting me know he is not going and he is not moving out. I have given him the requirements to continue living with me. They were verbalized AND written down on notebook, still displayed daily on the kitchen table. 1) get a job or daily volunteer 2) talk to me with respect and consideration 3) join the summer swim team, something he said he wanted to do again 3) do his daily chore schedule without being told. I dont think that is alot to ask, but he has not accomplished any of the above in the last three weeks. As an adopted son, he has always presented challenges but has always been able to work through them, learn from them and express remorse. About 6 months ago, I noticed a change. He has stolen from family friends (laptops, cigarettes, bluetooth, money) He has increased lies and withholding of truth. Verbal abuse, very mean hurtful cussing comments. leaves home without telling me where and with who. Refuses to communicate any of this, saying "I'm 18 now and I have a life." He just turned 18 May 9. He is not graduating from high school. Too many failed courses and has refused to make up any in two years. He had opportunity to use computer program to make up failed credits but never did, so now he will not graduate and does not have a diploma. I could go on and on... but the biggest most serious change I've noticed, is the lack of remorse. That is when I asked his therapist to do another evaluation. He had not had one since before I adopted him. The diagnosis of Antisocial Personality Disorder is a disturbing diagnosis. Not a good prognosis, because part of the profile is they dont think they need to change. they blame everyone else and think they are fine. Therefore, usually dont seek treatment or therapy. My son has begun to behave exactly like the profile. I have read and talked to professionals, trying to educate myself as much as possible. I think I know quite a bit about the diagnosis but what I dont feel confident about is how does a parent continue to love and support an adult child with this diagnosis? What is the best way to interact and communicate with him? Obviously, stay calm and emotionally detached... which I am able to do now. Actually, learning about his diagnosis has helped realize it is not me, I now am able to NOT take his behavior personally. So... back to my original question... how does a parent prepare to "kick" out her son? He will push me to the point of needing to have him escorted out. I know it. He will not leave on his own. but I am determined! He will leave! I have reached my threshold! I can't continue to lock things up in my bedroom... I can't trust anything he says to me... etc. I told him he is my son and he will always be my son, but I can not tolerate living with him anymore unless he makes some major changes. Those changes are not happening and I predict they will not happen for another several years, IF ever. asldogs [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Antisocial Personality Disorder Diagnosis of my 18 year old son
Top