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anxiety over difficult child picking up his stuff
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<blockquote data-quote="Elsieshaye" data-source="post: 479739" data-attributes="member: 12928"><p>So. Sent difficult child all his stuff Saturday, and emailed him the tracking information. It should be there this afternoon. My email was calm and factual and didn't mention his rant at all. My boyfriend helped me get it to the package shipper, and suggested that for Christmas this year I enclose the receipt for shipping in a card, and leave it at that. Not going to do that, because it is more in-his-face than I want to be, but it did make me laugh. (FWIW, my plan is to just ignore Christmas. I have plans with friends, and am not going to engage with difficult child by sending a gift/money/etc.)</p><p></p><p>I wish, on some level, that I could be warmer and more open to difficult child, but I'm really exhausted and heart-hurt. I just want to step aside for a while and focus on my own life, and on feeling more solid and safe. XSIL finally called me to hear about the situation from my perspective, and is in close touch with both difficult child and his father (they even invited her down for Christmas, which she declined, although she'll probably send them something), so I don't feel like he's utterly alone. I did tell her, however, that I did -not- want blow-by-blow updates of everything difficult child does. She insisted that she will contact me if "something bad happens". I told her that she could, but that depending on what it was I may not engage or act on what she tells me. She seemed very upset at the idea that he might be arrested, especially if he is as involved with drugs as he appears to be (kid with no money obtaining drugs can't just be mooching off of friends all the time - not to the degree that I believe he was using, at any rate). "But what if he gets arrested?!" I said, "then he gets arrested. we can't save him from that."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Elsieshaye, post: 479739, member: 12928"] So. Sent difficult child all his stuff Saturday, and emailed him the tracking information. It should be there this afternoon. My email was calm and factual and didn't mention his rant at all. My boyfriend helped me get it to the package shipper, and suggested that for Christmas this year I enclose the receipt for shipping in a card, and leave it at that. Not going to do that, because it is more in-his-face than I want to be, but it did make me laugh. (FWIW, my plan is to just ignore Christmas. I have plans with friends, and am not going to engage with difficult child by sending a gift/money/etc.) I wish, on some level, that I could be warmer and more open to difficult child, but I'm really exhausted and heart-hurt. I just want to step aside for a while and focus on my own life, and on feeling more solid and safe. XSIL finally called me to hear about the situation from my perspective, and is in close touch with both difficult child and his father (they even invited her down for Christmas, which she declined, although she'll probably send them something), so I don't feel like he's utterly alone. I did tell her, however, that I did -not- want blow-by-blow updates of everything difficult child does. She insisted that she will contact me if "something bad happens". I told her that she could, but that depending on what it was I may not engage or act on what she tells me. She seemed very upset at the idea that he might be arrested, especially if he is as involved with drugs as he appears to be (kid with no money obtaining drugs can't just be mooching off of friends all the time - not to the degree that I believe he was using, at any rate). "But what if he gets arrested?!" I said, "then he gets arrested. we can't save him from that." [/QUOTE]
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