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<blockquote data-quote="KFld" data-source="post: 49156" data-attributes="member: 2442"><p>Hello and welcome aboard. My difficult child was diagnosed with ADHD in the 6th grade and he also has an i.q. of 145, and he is a recovering heroin addict, 8 months clean on the 29th of this month, not that I keep track or anything :smile:</p><p></p><p>Your sons story sounds like many of ours here. You have found a wonderful place to come for support and hope. I was at the desperate point you are now the summer before last. Our difficult child was 18 years old when we had to kick him out of our house due to his drug use and stealing everything in site from us to support his habit. I want to suggest to you to find a parent alanon meeting in your area. There you will find a room full of people who are experiencing everything you are right now. Those meetings along with this board are the reason I have come as far as I have over the last 2 years, and I believe has also allowed my difficult child to come as far as he has also. I learned how to detatch with love, allow him to make his own choices that I learned were not my fault, as you haven't caused any of your difficult child's choices, and most important, I learned how to live my own life without his consuming my every second and sucking the life out of me. </p><p></p><p>As I mentioned, my difficult child now 20 is 8 months clean, currently living in a soberhouse, going to meetings, has a sponsor, works full time, pays his own rent!! Things that 2 years ago I never would have dreamed possible for him. I believe one of the biggest things that keeps my son on track is knowing he can never ever live home again. If he uses, he will be kicked out of his soberhouse and have nowhere to live. His house is strict and in the 6 months he has lived there, he has seen many roomies come and go due to relapse. He knows what relapse would mean for him, but it wasn't easy watching him get to that point. </p><p></p><p>These are things you cannot do for your son, he has to want them. You can help him by detatching and not enabling him in anyway, because that often speeds the process. </p><p></p><p>Sorry you had to find us, but we are glad you did. It is a heartwrenching process you are watching your son go through, but there are many here who can show you that you can survive, and so can your son. </p><p></p><p>Learn the serenity prayer and live it. I know it gets myself and many others here through many sleepless nights.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="KFld, post: 49156, member: 2442"] Hello and welcome aboard. My difficult child was diagnosed with ADHD in the 6th grade and he also has an i.q. of 145, and he is a recovering heroin addict, 8 months clean on the 29th of this month, not that I keep track or anything [img]:smile:[/img] Your sons story sounds like many of ours here. You have found a wonderful place to come for support and hope. I was at the desperate point you are now the summer before last. Our difficult child was 18 years old when we had to kick him out of our house due to his drug use and stealing everything in site from us to support his habit. I want to suggest to you to find a parent alanon meeting in your area. There you will find a room full of people who are experiencing everything you are right now. Those meetings along with this board are the reason I have come as far as I have over the last 2 years, and I believe has also allowed my difficult child to come as far as he has also. I learned how to detatch with love, allow him to make his own choices that I learned were not my fault, as you haven't caused any of your difficult child's choices, and most important, I learned how to live my own life without his consuming my every second and sucking the life out of me. As I mentioned, my difficult child now 20 is 8 months clean, currently living in a soberhouse, going to meetings, has a sponsor, works full time, pays his own rent!! Things that 2 years ago I never would have dreamed possible for him. I believe one of the biggest things that keeps my son on track is knowing he can never ever live home again. If he uses, he will be kicked out of his soberhouse and have nowhere to live. His house is strict and in the 6 months he has lived there, he has seen many roomies come and go due to relapse. He knows what relapse would mean for him, but it wasn't easy watching him get to that point. These are things you cannot do for your son, he has to want them. You can help him by detatching and not enabling him in anyway, because that often speeds the process. Sorry you had to find us, but we are glad you did. It is a heartwrenching process you are watching your son go through, but there are many here who can show you that you can survive, and so can your son. Learn the serenity prayer and live it. I know it gets myself and many others here through many sleepless nights. [/QUOTE]
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