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General Parenting
Any Other difficult children Ever Say This?
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<blockquote data-quote="hexemaus2" data-source="post: 390797" data-attributes="member: 4560"><p>Ditto what TeDo said! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> difficult child 2 seldom had much control over himself once he spiraled into a meltdown, and he always felt horrible after. So much so that we had (and still sometimes have) problems with depression with him. He beats himself up over what he's done a lot. He's quite honestly, scared to death of his own temper now.</p><p> </p><p>It took years to help him get to where he can control it, to an extent. (He still has issues, but it's of a verbal nature now, rather than violence.) However, his issues with rages were extreme. In all, he was hospitalized for violent rages a total of 12 times between the ages of 9 or 10 and 15. </p><p> </p><p>It did help not to take what he said or did personally, and it did help to always reassure him that we'd find the answers together. Likewise, his "fluffy" metaphor also helped him to distinguish between himself as a person and his behavior. His behavior didn't make him a bad person. Not trying to learn how to control it would. </p><p> </p><p>For years I didn't think talking to him after a meltdown and going over what to do next time would ever work. I didn't think it would ever stick in his mind in a way that he would become proactive and learn to stop them before they started. But I kept doing it anyway, hoping eventually some small kernel of something would stick. It did. With maturity, repetition, more maturity, more repetition, and learning triggers and early warning signs, we slowly (and I mean slowly) saw progress.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hexemaus2, post: 390797, member: 4560"] Ditto what TeDo said! :) difficult child 2 seldom had much control over himself once he spiraled into a meltdown, and he always felt horrible after. So much so that we had (and still sometimes have) problems with depression with him. He beats himself up over what he's done a lot. He's quite honestly, scared to death of his own temper now. It took years to help him get to where he can control it, to an extent. (He still has issues, but it's of a verbal nature now, rather than violence.) However, his issues with rages were extreme. In all, he was hospitalized for violent rages a total of 12 times between the ages of 9 or 10 and 15. It did help not to take what he said or did personally, and it did help to always reassure him that we'd find the answers together. Likewise, his "fluffy" metaphor also helped him to distinguish between himself as a person and his behavior. His behavior didn't make him a bad person. Not trying to learn how to control it would. For years I didn't think talking to him after a meltdown and going over what to do next time would ever work. I didn't think it would ever stick in his mind in a way that he would become proactive and learn to stop them before they started. But I kept doing it anyway, hoping eventually some small kernel of something would stick. It did. With maturity, repetition, more maturity, more repetition, and learning triggers and early warning signs, we slowly (and I mean slowly) saw progress. [/QUOTE]
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