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Any Other difficult children Ever Say This?
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 390831" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>When my difficult child was in the midst of his anxiety, he would say it felt like he was evil and he did not want to be. He said it felt like there was an evilness inside him trying to control him.</p><p> </p><p>When our kids meltdown and rage, they are loosing control over themselves. Kind of like a drunk person has no control even though they think they do. You hear stories of college students especially after a night of drinking being astonished of what they did the night before. At the time they thought it all in fun but when they sober up they are embarrassed. What they did was not what they wanted to do. They were going with the flow and not taking control of themselves.</p><p> </p><p>People who rage are much the same. They are going with the flow of their emotions. The anger is so powerful and strong that they don't know how to stop once it starts. They may not even want to stop at the worst of it because that power does feel good at the moment even if they will regret it later. It is very scary for them once they "sober" up and learn about what they did.</p><p> </p><p>It is a good step for your difficult child to recognize that he did not feel like himself. I would hope he didn't like that feeling because that will be part of his motivation to turn this around. Part of the reason why he wants to learn more about his triggers so that he can create his own weapons to squash it before it leads to the rage.</p><p> </p><p>I would talk to my difficult child a lot about his feelings leading up to, during, and after. He would work on finding ways of controlling those actions. He had to learn what triggered the bad actions and be able to battle those triggers. He had to learn how to recognize that very first stage and redirect his actions to keep things calm and peaceful.</p><p> </p><p>A really hard thing for anyone to do, especially our younger difficult child's who have not yet mastered the maturity level that much of this needs.</p><p> </p><p>You are doing a good job with this. Those bad moments are horrid but keep up the good work and it can/will get better. It did for my difficult child and our family! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 390831, member: 5096"] When my difficult child was in the midst of his anxiety, he would say it felt like he was evil and he did not want to be. He said it felt like there was an evilness inside him trying to control him. When our kids meltdown and rage, they are loosing control over themselves. Kind of like a drunk person has no control even though they think they do. You hear stories of college students especially after a night of drinking being astonished of what they did the night before. At the time they thought it all in fun but when they sober up they are embarrassed. What they did was not what they wanted to do. They were going with the flow and not taking control of themselves. People who rage are much the same. They are going with the flow of their emotions. The anger is so powerful and strong that they don't know how to stop once it starts. They may not even want to stop at the worst of it because that power does feel good at the moment even if they will regret it later. It is very scary for them once they "sober" up and learn about what they did. It is a good step for your difficult child to recognize that he did not feel like himself. I would hope he didn't like that feeling because that will be part of his motivation to turn this around. Part of the reason why he wants to learn more about his triggers so that he can create his own weapons to squash it before it leads to the rage. I would talk to my difficult child a lot about his feelings leading up to, during, and after. He would work on finding ways of controlling those actions. He had to learn what triggered the bad actions and be able to battle those triggers. He had to learn how to recognize that very first stage and redirect his actions to keep things calm and peaceful. A really hard thing for anyone to do, especially our younger difficult child's who have not yet mastered the maturity level that much of this needs. You are doing a good job with this. Those bad moments are horrid but keep up the good work and it can/will get better. It did for my difficult child and our family! :) [/QUOTE]
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