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Substance Abuse
Any point in getting axis II diagnosis for nearly 18 year old?
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 373262" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Hi Rose and welcome! Glad you found us.</p><p></p><p>Big sigh.... I should warn you that my head is extremely flat from beating it against the brick wall that is my beloved difficult child, and therefore I'm a bit cynical and skeptical about the practicality of a *parent* trying to get appropriate diagnoses and/or treatment when you're talking about an uncooperative/noncompliant mid-to-late teen. In my world at least, the sad reality is that at this age the kid holds all the cards. We cannot force them to be compliant with treatment or diagnosis. When the kid is a master manipulator to boot... well, quite frankly, I question at least half the evaluations my kid has had in the last 10 years because he's been far more interested in pulling the professionals' chains than getting *real* help. And I guess, to me, that is the key, especially when you're dealing with- a PD. If the person with the PD isn't interested in treatment and in learning how to function more appropriately, I don't think any treatment will work. It's the old dragging the mule to the trough thing - you can do it, but you sure can't make 'em drink. My kid would die of thirst rather than "drink" from the trough of treatment.</p><p></p><p>I will say that when I brought up the likely possibility of my own kid having some very distinct PD traits when he was 16 or so, I was told they simply do not diagnose a PD before they're an "adult". Not sure why, but... okay.</p><p></p><p>You say treatment thus far hasn't done much for her and I have to ask, do you think it's because of the treatment or because of her lack of honest participation? It sounds like she has been offered many and varied types of treatment. Again, just in my experience with- my difficult child, it really boils down to is the kid willing to recognize there's a problem and do something about it. You can drag her to every professional you can find, but you cannot force her to do anything with it.</p><p></p><p>As far as a PD diagnosis, or any diagnosis, helping or hindering her in future contacts with- mental health professionals or court systems, I honestly don't know. My gut says it's a wash - won't help in court system, might in the MH system *if* she's ever willing to honestly seek help. </p><p></p><p>It's a shame, really - it sounds like your step-daughter really has been thru the ringer. It's incredibly frustrating to watch our kids struggle and know that there is the potential for help for them, but they are their own worst enemies. The adamant refusal to accept that they need help, the refusal (or inability, I'm not sure which is is anymore) to see how their choices impact others, the whole "I don't have to follow rules/it's not my fault/I know what I'm doing" mentality - it makes for a rocky time all around.</p><p></p><p>Anyway - just my very cynical perspective. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> Fortunately, there are a wide variety of opinions on the board and hopefully someone will be along shortly to give you a different one. Again - welcome and I'm glad you found us!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 373262, member: 8"] Hi Rose and welcome! Glad you found us. Big sigh.... I should warn you that my head is extremely flat from beating it against the brick wall that is my beloved difficult child, and therefore I'm a bit cynical and skeptical about the practicality of a *parent* trying to get appropriate diagnoses and/or treatment when you're talking about an uncooperative/noncompliant mid-to-late teen. In my world at least, the sad reality is that at this age the kid holds all the cards. We cannot force them to be compliant with treatment or diagnosis. When the kid is a master manipulator to boot... well, quite frankly, I question at least half the evaluations my kid has had in the last 10 years because he's been far more interested in pulling the professionals' chains than getting *real* help. And I guess, to me, that is the key, especially when you're dealing with- a PD. If the person with the PD isn't interested in treatment and in learning how to function more appropriately, I don't think any treatment will work. It's the old dragging the mule to the trough thing - you can do it, but you sure can't make 'em drink. My kid would die of thirst rather than "drink" from the trough of treatment. I will say that when I brought up the likely possibility of my own kid having some very distinct PD traits when he was 16 or so, I was told they simply do not diagnose a PD before they're an "adult". Not sure why, but... okay. You say treatment thus far hasn't done much for her and I have to ask, do you think it's because of the treatment or because of her lack of honest participation? It sounds like she has been offered many and varied types of treatment. Again, just in my experience with- my difficult child, it really boils down to is the kid willing to recognize there's a problem and do something about it. You can drag her to every professional you can find, but you cannot force her to do anything with it. As far as a PD diagnosis, or any diagnosis, helping or hindering her in future contacts with- mental health professionals or court systems, I honestly don't know. My gut says it's a wash - won't help in court system, might in the MH system *if* she's ever willing to honestly seek help. It's a shame, really - it sounds like your step-daughter really has been thru the ringer. It's incredibly frustrating to watch our kids struggle and know that there is the potential for help for them, but they are their own worst enemies. The adamant refusal to accept that they need help, the refusal (or inability, I'm not sure which is is anymore) to see how their choices impact others, the whole "I don't have to follow rules/it's not my fault/I know what I'm doing" mentality - it makes for a rocky time all around. Anyway - just my very cynical perspective. :winking: Fortunately, there are a wide variety of opinions on the board and hopefully someone will be along shortly to give you a different one. Again - welcome and I'm glad you found us! [/QUOTE]
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Any point in getting axis II diagnosis for nearly 18 year old?
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