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Substance Abuse
any tips on blending families?
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 554605" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>I hesitate to share "tips" because we didn't exactly blend like the Brady Bunch. husband moved into my home after we were married and then we bought "our" first home before our lst anniverary. Although husband's children were always welcome and did spend Sundays thru dinner with us each week we weren't a 24/7 blended family as they lived in their childhood home (yes, husband voluntarily signed it over to his Ex so his children wouldn't have to move..sigh).</p><p></p><p>So these are some things that worked. We did not share discipline. I stayed in charge of mine and he stayed in charge of his. Of course, we discussed and shared if the issues were important but it worked out well keeping the same structure as before the wedding. We did share a beach resort vacation week the first summer in hopes the kids would bond more. We bit our tongues and never said a bad word about the "other" parents.</p><p></p><p>Some things that didn't work so well? Well we didn't expect the young teens to think about our private moments. My easy child son was 14 and his imagination got to him and he called husband Mister X for eighteen months...and politely avoided him as much as possible. Believe me there was no outward displays of intimacy. The kids were just at that age. Sigh. Didn't expect that curve. Also didn't expect husband's oldest daughter to be a stealth PIA, lol. She acted like I had stolen her Dad from her Mom. Uh...not. Her Mom kicked her Dad out of the house six years before I met him. She was 17 and I never saw that coming, either. Holiday celebrations can be a strain. If Santa has always come at midnight......eight AM isn't going to seem like Christmas. If everyone grabs and rips open presents when they want to, lol, it is not going to blend well with the "we take turns" family. Silly things can and will pop up and catch you off guard.</p><p></p><p>I'm happy for you. Fingers crossed that the future is happy for your whole family. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 554605, member: 35"] I hesitate to share "tips" because we didn't exactly blend like the Brady Bunch. husband moved into my home after we were married and then we bought "our" first home before our lst anniverary. Although husband's children were always welcome and did spend Sundays thru dinner with us each week we weren't a 24/7 blended family as they lived in their childhood home (yes, husband voluntarily signed it over to his Ex so his children wouldn't have to move..sigh). So these are some things that worked. We did not share discipline. I stayed in charge of mine and he stayed in charge of his. Of course, we discussed and shared if the issues were important but it worked out well keeping the same structure as before the wedding. We did share a beach resort vacation week the first summer in hopes the kids would bond more. We bit our tongues and never said a bad word about the "other" parents. Some things that didn't work so well? Well we didn't expect the young teens to think about our private moments. My easy child son was 14 and his imagination got to him and he called husband Mister X for eighteen months...and politely avoided him as much as possible. Believe me there was no outward displays of intimacy. The kids were just at that age. Sigh. Didn't expect that curve. Also didn't expect husband's oldest daughter to be a stealth PIA, lol. She acted like I had stolen her Dad from her Mom. Uh...not. Her Mom kicked her Dad out of the house six years before I met him. She was 17 and I never saw that coming, either. Holiday celebrations can be a strain. If Santa has always come at midnight......eight AM isn't going to seem like Christmas. If everyone grabs and rips open presents when they want to, lol, it is not going to blend well with the "we take turns" family. Silly things can and will pop up and catch you off guard. I'm happy for you. Fingers crossed that the future is happy for your whole family. DDD [/QUOTE]
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