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General Parenting
Anyone else dealing with a pathological/compulsive liar?
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<blockquote data-quote="P-nut2004" data-source="post: 429150" data-attributes="member: 11740"><p>Wintak: I have heard very close to the same story before from L, there's a lake at FILs house and if half the things she claims to see live in there we're all in danger LoL I don't get it either <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/felttip/huh.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":huh:" title="huh :huh:" data-shortname=":huh:" /></p><p></p><p>Keista: We have always told the girls it is wrong to lie and better to be honest regardless of the situation. From the beginning of this 'story telling' issue I have discussed with L that it is not ok to lie about things and if she wants to make up a story its ok as long as she tells the person she's talking to that it's a story. L is well above grade level in reading and writing, although she struggles with spelling, her teacher brags constantly about how much detail she puts into her stories and how she thinks L will be a writer. We have tried to steer the lying in this direction but she wont hear of it, any mention of lying or story telling makes her angry now as she insists she has told the truth about all of it. She will have a meltdown regardless of how I try to approach the issue.</p><p></p><p>Step: I am trying to work with C on ignoring most of Ls behaviors but she feels so neglected & I think it's her way of striking back at L to nitpick at every little thing. I can't seem to get her to see it any other way. We also stress in our household that punishment will be minimal if you're honest, and we stick to that. My husband does make a habit of denying responsibility for small stuff he thinks I can't prove he did, but neither of us has ever really shown them that it's ok to lie. Like you, I cannot wrap my brain around the purpose of telling pointless lies that we can tell are lies.</p><p></p><p>Insane: I have seen the acronym Central Auditory Processing Disorder (CAPD) several times on here but was unfamiliar with it, apparently it is the same thing Ls psychiatrist refers to as expressive language disorder which I was told is synonymous with auditory to verbal processing issues. So I guess L has Central Auditory Processing Disorder (CAPD) and alot of what you said makes sense. I know she has poor social skills but she covers it up well, so most other ppl don't realize it. She has also been saying to me "Why am I so confused?" or "Why do I keep forgetting stuff?" when she's trying to explain something and it seems from an outside perspective like her thoughts got all jumbled up. I have similar issues, I always talked very fast as a child and would rattle off what I was trying to tell someone and then get all tongue tied and forget what I was saying & my mother always said my brain was going faster than my mouth could. I still have this issue although not as often. I can also see how she may think she remembers doing these things, she's always had a vivid imagination and will insist she was present for events that happened before she was born because she has heard the story many times. The problem is I can't distinguish which 'stories' are deliberate lies, which ones are an attempt to fit in and which ones are 'delusional' thoughts that she actually believes. So I don't know how to figure out WHY she's lying or which part of her disorders is causing the behavior.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="P-nut2004, post: 429150, member: 11740"] Wintak: I have heard very close to the same story before from L, there's a lake at FILs house and if half the things she claims to see live in there we're all in danger LoL I don't get it either :huh: Keista: We have always told the girls it is wrong to lie and better to be honest regardless of the situation. From the beginning of this 'story telling' issue I have discussed with L that it is not ok to lie about things and if she wants to make up a story its ok as long as she tells the person she's talking to that it's a story. L is well above grade level in reading and writing, although she struggles with spelling, her teacher brags constantly about how much detail she puts into her stories and how she thinks L will be a writer. We have tried to steer the lying in this direction but she wont hear of it, any mention of lying or story telling makes her angry now as she insists she has told the truth about all of it. She will have a meltdown regardless of how I try to approach the issue. Step: I am trying to work with C on ignoring most of Ls behaviors but she feels so neglected & I think it's her way of striking back at L to nitpick at every little thing. I can't seem to get her to see it any other way. We also stress in our household that punishment will be minimal if you're honest, and we stick to that. My husband does make a habit of denying responsibility for small stuff he thinks I can't prove he did, but neither of us has ever really shown them that it's ok to lie. Like you, I cannot wrap my brain around the purpose of telling pointless lies that we can tell are lies. Insane: I have seen the acronym Central Auditory Processing Disorder (CAPD) several times on here but was unfamiliar with it, apparently it is the same thing Ls psychiatrist refers to as expressive language disorder which I was told is synonymous with auditory to verbal processing issues. So I guess L has Central Auditory Processing Disorder (CAPD) and alot of what you said makes sense. I know she has poor social skills but she covers it up well, so most other ppl don't realize it. She has also been saying to me "Why am I so confused?" or "Why do I keep forgetting stuff?" when she's trying to explain something and it seems from an outside perspective like her thoughts got all jumbled up. I have similar issues, I always talked very fast as a child and would rattle off what I was trying to tell someone and then get all tongue tied and forget what I was saying & my mother always said my brain was going faster than my mouth could. I still have this issue although not as often. I can also see how she may think she remembers doing these things, she's always had a vivid imagination and will insist she was present for events that happened before she was born because she has heard the story many times. The problem is I can't distinguish which 'stories' are deliberate lies, which ones are an attempt to fit in and which ones are 'delusional' thoughts that she actually believes. So I don't know how to figure out WHY she's lying or which part of her disorders is causing the behavior. [/QUOTE]
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Anyone else dealing with a pathological/compulsive liar?
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