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Anyone else feeling like they want to do away with their child sometimes?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 459479" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I have NOT read all the responses. So pardon me if I repeat or missed something.</p><p></p><p>in my opinion it is a pretty natural response at some point. You still should speak with a therapist, but you MUST MUST MUST recognize that you ARE a victim of domestic violence. This is NOT like what DV victims go through - it IS what DV victims go through because YOU ARE A VICTIM OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE PERPETRATED BY YOUR CHILD.</p><p></p><p>Yes, sounds absurd to many to think you could be abused by your child. It is happening all across the country and will likely take years more before it is recognized for the problem it is. Until that time, get yourself to the DV center and insist they help you. Four years ago when I insisted that Wiz leave our home because he was determined to seriously hurt or kill one of us (it was very clear to the kids and I that someone was going to end up dead or close to it if a huge change wasn't made - husband wasn't home enough to see it so he didn't grasp it at that time), I went to our DV center and got some real help.</p><p></p><p>Be aware that if you call the cops and he is locked otu of the house YOU may be cited and investigated for abuse. Most states will not let a parent lock a child out of the home. Do NOT let anyone tell difficult child this!!!!!!! </p><p></p><p>You may consider foster care for him - you actually CAN relinquish your rights to the state, though it is not easy and you will pay child support. I know I had to think long and hard about what kind of future we would have if Wiz stayed in our home. The ONLY future I could see was one of us dead and then either me wanting to die because I killed my child to protect my other children or Wiz wanting to die because he killed me and his siblings. I was NOT willing to let it come to that, and we came very scarily close to it.</p><p></p><p>the DV center will help you for free. They won't be able to do much with difficult child unless he wants it, but they CAN offer you ways to cope, therapy, etc....</p><p></p><p>You also may want to consider that you have EVERY right to take EVERYTHING out of his room and sell it to pay for things he damages. Reality is that minors cannot enter contracts and ownership of ANYTHING is a contract. So you, the ADULT, owns EVERYTHING - no matter if difficult child bought it with money he earned or got as a gift or if you gave it to him. You are legally required to give him a mattress on the floor, sheets, blanket, a pillow, seven outfits (approximately), one pair of shoes, a lamp or light in the room to do schoolwork by, and food. NOT food or clothes or things he LIKES, clothes that will cover his body and food that will keep him alive. PERIOD. </p><p></p><p>So if he wants to up the ante, go strip his room. Total up how much you spent on food that he wasted and go pawn his phone, ipod, tv, whatever. If he wants them back? he can figure out how to get the $$ and get the pawn shop to let him buy them back. He damages a door or wall? You press charges for property damage/vandalism because he is not legally allowed to damage your property deliberately. He so much as pushes past you to get somewhere? Call the cops and press assault and/or domestic violence charges.</p><p></p><p>It will NOT get him mental health treatment - the courts I mean - but it WILL get a paper trail and show him that the real world thinks he is a punk and won't put up with his koi. The DV center will do a LOT to help you cope with all of this. Domestic violence is violence between people who live together - it is NOT NOT NOT limited to adult on adult and/or adult on child violence - child on adult violence counts too and is ILLEGAL. Cops won't do much about him raging unless he had hurt you or the property. Then you can make it not their choice. DV will help even if the cops won't.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry you have to deal with this. Even if the local DV place has not dealt with child on parent abuse, they still can help you. I know I was the first child on parent abuse victim at our DV center and they have seen a LOT of it since then.</p><p></p><p>PLEASE get help before this turns to someone being maimed or killed.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 459479, member: 1233"] I have NOT read all the responses. So pardon me if I repeat or missed something. in my opinion it is a pretty natural response at some point. You still should speak with a therapist, but you MUST MUST MUST recognize that you ARE a victim of domestic violence. This is NOT like what DV victims go through - it IS what DV victims go through because YOU ARE A VICTIM OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE PERPETRATED BY YOUR CHILD. Yes, sounds absurd to many to think you could be abused by your child. It is happening all across the country and will likely take years more before it is recognized for the problem it is. Until that time, get yourself to the DV center and insist they help you. Four years ago when I insisted that Wiz leave our home because he was determined to seriously hurt or kill one of us (it was very clear to the kids and I that someone was going to end up dead or close to it if a huge change wasn't made - husband wasn't home enough to see it so he didn't grasp it at that time), I went to our DV center and got some real help. Be aware that if you call the cops and he is locked otu of the house YOU may be cited and investigated for abuse. Most states will not let a parent lock a child out of the home. Do NOT let anyone tell difficult child this!!!!!!! You may consider foster care for him - you actually CAN relinquish your rights to the state, though it is not easy and you will pay child support. I know I had to think long and hard about what kind of future we would have if Wiz stayed in our home. The ONLY future I could see was one of us dead and then either me wanting to die because I killed my child to protect my other children or Wiz wanting to die because he killed me and his siblings. I was NOT willing to let it come to that, and we came very scarily close to it. the DV center will help you for free. They won't be able to do much with difficult child unless he wants it, but they CAN offer you ways to cope, therapy, etc.... You also may want to consider that you have EVERY right to take EVERYTHING out of his room and sell it to pay for things he damages. Reality is that minors cannot enter contracts and ownership of ANYTHING is a contract. So you, the ADULT, owns EVERYTHING - no matter if difficult child bought it with money he earned or got as a gift or if you gave it to him. You are legally required to give him a mattress on the floor, sheets, blanket, a pillow, seven outfits (approximately), one pair of shoes, a lamp or light in the room to do schoolwork by, and food. NOT food or clothes or things he LIKES, clothes that will cover his body and food that will keep him alive. PERIOD. So if he wants to up the ante, go strip his room. Total up how much you spent on food that he wasted and go pawn his phone, ipod, tv, whatever. If he wants them back? he can figure out how to get the $$ and get the pawn shop to let him buy them back. He damages a door or wall? You press charges for property damage/vandalism because he is not legally allowed to damage your property deliberately. He so much as pushes past you to get somewhere? Call the cops and press assault and/or domestic violence charges. It will NOT get him mental health treatment - the courts I mean - but it WILL get a paper trail and show him that the real world thinks he is a punk and won't put up with his koi. The DV center will do a LOT to help you cope with all of this. Domestic violence is violence between people who live together - it is NOT NOT NOT limited to adult on adult and/or adult on child violence - child on adult violence counts too and is ILLEGAL. Cops won't do much about him raging unless he had hurt you or the property. Then you can make it not their choice. DV will help even if the cops won't. I am sorry you have to deal with this. Even if the local DV place has not dealt with child on parent abuse, they still can help you. I know I was the first child on parent abuse victim at our DV center and they have seen a LOT of it since then. PLEASE get help before this turns to someone being maimed or killed. [/QUOTE]
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