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anyone have a difficult child husband?
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<blockquote data-quote="crazymama30" data-source="post: 423558" data-attributes="member: 3184"><p>So after my first response, sorry it was a gut reaction, how do I cope? Sometimes I really don't know. I try to see what is the illness and what is husband. It is not easy. I take my medications and see my therapist. I try to make sure that I see husband as a person, and not a collection of his diagnosis's. He had a horrible childhood, lots of really severe physical abuse, emotional abuse. Was not allowed to sleep.......did chores after school untill 2am and then was woken up at 4am with a 5gallon bucket of ice cold pond water thrown on him to wake him up and do chores again, only allowed to shower once a week while in high school, beatings so bad he was knocked out and left bloody, a step mom who hid her cigarettes under the boys' mattress and would tell their dad when he got home that they stole them so they got beat, etc etc. </p><p> </p><p>husband has done well not to repeat the cycle of violence. He has never beaten the kids, spanked every so often when they were younger yes, but not out of control. They only time he has been aggressive or there has been a threat of violence is when he was manic, and then it was not as severe as his childhood. Is there any doubt as to why he is so messed up now? Not really.</p><p> </p><p>Sometimes it is really all I can do to keep putting one foot in front of the other, to keep on keeping on. Work for me is a sanity saver, and when I cannot go to work due to illness/injury? I start to not do so well with stuff. Work is the one place that is predictable, where I have more control.</p><p> </p><p>Granted, my husband is way more of a difficult child than most difficult child husband's.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="crazymama30, post: 423558, member: 3184"] So after my first response, sorry it was a gut reaction, how do I cope? Sometimes I really don't know. I try to see what is the illness and what is husband. It is not easy. I take my medications and see my therapist. I try to make sure that I see husband as a person, and not a collection of his diagnosis's. He had a horrible childhood, lots of really severe physical abuse, emotional abuse. Was not allowed to sleep.......did chores after school untill 2am and then was woken up at 4am with a 5gallon bucket of ice cold pond water thrown on him to wake him up and do chores again, only allowed to shower once a week while in high school, beatings so bad he was knocked out and left bloody, a step mom who hid her cigarettes under the boys' mattress and would tell their dad when he got home that they stole them so they got beat, etc etc. husband has done well not to repeat the cycle of violence. He has never beaten the kids, spanked every so often when they were younger yes, but not out of control. They only time he has been aggressive or there has been a threat of violence is when he was manic, and then it was not as severe as his childhood. Is there any doubt as to why he is so messed up now? Not really. Sometimes it is really all I can do to keep putting one foot in front of the other, to keep on keeping on. Work for me is a sanity saver, and when I cannot go to work due to illness/injury? I start to not do so well with stuff. Work is the one place that is predictable, where I have more control. Granted, my husband is way more of a difficult child than most difficult child husband's. [/QUOTE]
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