Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Anyone have an older teen/young adult who was diagnosis'd with ODD as a child?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 759216" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Hi Tired Soul! I have been here for many many years. My oldest has an alphabet soup of diagnosis. He was an incredibly violent child and it got worse as he got older and bigger. We had to find a new living arrangement for him when he was 14. Someone was going to end up dead or maimed and he was going to jail or going to end up dead. He legit was that violent. For such awful things as me saying "Good Morning." We sent him to live across town with my parents. My dad had just retired from teaching junior high and was driving my mother nuts. They thought they could get through to him. So they tried.</p><p></p><p>Miracle of miracles, by about age 20 he had done much of the work to rebuild his relationships with each member of the family. He has had the same job since age 16, and now manages the grocery store he works at. We are incredibly proud of him. Everyone at work likes him no matter what he does. He isn't universally customer friendly though. He is a bit too blunt sometimes. </p><p></p><p>What helped him? Not living with 2 younger siblings and parents who had their own things to do. My parents have a sprawling house and his room was on the other end from theirs. So if he needed time alone, he didn't even hear my parents watching tv or whatever. He really needed that and he needed to not live with younger siblings. We were told this after we had 2 other kids! I remember asking the psychiatrist exactly what I was supposed to do with that information. It isn't like I was going to stuff my kids back where they came from! The doctor had no answer to that.</p><p></p><p>My oldest son also has Asperger's. He is incredibly high functioning. But when he gets a notion in his head, good luck getting it out of there. One reason I was fine with my son going to my parents is that my father also has Asperger's. Not formally diagnosed in my dad, but he fits more of the criteria than my son does. I find it hilarious to hear my son and my father have a disagreement. They are both so stubborn! I think my dad was the only person who could make my son do something he refused to do. One thing that drove my oldest nuts was having to do yardwork as a punishment. My dad would go out with him and work alongside him, just to make sure he wasn't reading a book somewhere out of sight. The funny part of all that was the look on my oldest's face the day he realized that if he wasn't always breaking the rules, my parents would have paid him to do all that yardwork. He realized that he cost himself several thousand dollars over the years. </p><p></p><p>My oldest son tells us that his conscience is not as loud/certain as other people's. He has some very close friends. He goes to them if he doesn't think his impulses in a situation are right. They are good friends and if he is thinking of doing something really mean or messed up, they tell him. And he listens to them. He never used to listen to anybody. </p><p></p><p>Another thing that helped was an analogy my mother came up with. My dad and my youngest son are both color-blind. My mom explained my son's lack of understanding in social situations as being his version of color-blind. She cannot explain green to my father, but she can tell him if the color is important to whatever is going on. My oldest son doesn't understand social cues the way my dad cannot see green. This clicked in his head when he was about 17. That is when he started asking people he trusts about social cues. </p><p></p><p>I hope some of this helps. I remember the bad old days.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 759216, member: 1233"] Hi Tired Soul! I have been here for many many years. My oldest has an alphabet soup of diagnosis. He was an incredibly violent child and it got worse as he got older and bigger. We had to find a new living arrangement for him when he was 14. Someone was going to end up dead or maimed and he was going to jail or going to end up dead. He legit was that violent. For such awful things as me saying "Good Morning." We sent him to live across town with my parents. My dad had just retired from teaching junior high and was driving my mother nuts. They thought they could get through to him. So they tried. Miracle of miracles, by about age 20 he had done much of the work to rebuild his relationships with each member of the family. He has had the same job since age 16, and now manages the grocery store he works at. We are incredibly proud of him. Everyone at work likes him no matter what he does. He isn't universally customer friendly though. He is a bit too blunt sometimes. What helped him? Not living with 2 younger siblings and parents who had their own things to do. My parents have a sprawling house and his room was on the other end from theirs. So if he needed time alone, he didn't even hear my parents watching tv or whatever. He really needed that and he needed to not live with younger siblings. We were told this after we had 2 other kids! I remember asking the psychiatrist exactly what I was supposed to do with that information. It isn't like I was going to stuff my kids back where they came from! The doctor had no answer to that. My oldest son also has Asperger's. He is incredibly high functioning. But when he gets a notion in his head, good luck getting it out of there. One reason I was fine with my son going to my parents is that my father also has Asperger's. Not formally diagnosed in my dad, but he fits more of the criteria than my son does. I find it hilarious to hear my son and my father have a disagreement. They are both so stubborn! I think my dad was the only person who could make my son do something he refused to do. One thing that drove my oldest nuts was having to do yardwork as a punishment. My dad would go out with him and work alongside him, just to make sure he wasn't reading a book somewhere out of sight. The funny part of all that was the look on my oldest's face the day he realized that if he wasn't always breaking the rules, my parents would have paid him to do all that yardwork. He realized that he cost himself several thousand dollars over the years. My oldest son tells us that his conscience is not as loud/certain as other people's. He has some very close friends. He goes to them if he doesn't think his impulses in a situation are right. They are good friends and if he is thinking of doing something really mean or messed up, they tell him. And he listens to them. He never used to listen to anybody. Another thing that helped was an analogy my mother came up with. My dad and my youngest son are both color-blind. My mom explained my son's lack of understanding in social situations as being his version of color-blind. She cannot explain green to my father, but she can tell him if the color is important to whatever is going on. My oldest son doesn't understand social cues the way my dad cannot see green. This clicked in his head when he was about 17. That is when he started asking people he trusts about social cues. I hope some of this helps. I remember the bad old days. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Anyone have an older teen/young adult who was diagnosis'd with ODD as a child?
Top