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Substance Abuse
Anyone in my shoes?
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<blockquote data-quote="Calamity Jane" data-source="post: 509250" data-attributes="member: 13882"><p>Dear 2Confused,</p><p>Welcome. You probably feel you're the only one in the world who is going thru this. Sadly, none of our experiences are unique. This is a good place to come to get advice, read what others are going through, etc. </p><p>Our son put us through hell since he was 16. My husband also traveled frequently for work, and I'd go to bed exhausted at 10PM. My son would leave our house as soon as I'd fall asleep and would come home some time near morning. If the police hadn't caught him, and brought him home, I wouldn't have even known it. I felt duped, shocked, conned, you name it. We found paraphernalia, and he really went off the deep end. Disrespected us, blamed us, kissed off curfew, lied, wow. Talking rationally and calmly didn't help. Going to a counselor didn't help, either. Mandated school counseling didn't help. What helped a little was the fact that once he reached the age of majority, 18, we turned all his problems back over to him. We will do anything to help, but only if he wants to help himself. He gets no money from us (we had to lock up our pocketbook and wallet, and get a house alarm, believe it or not). I actually sent away for a CD set called "The Total Transformation" program, and it really helped in how I spoke to my son. Kids are very clever at getting the conversation turned around to blame parents, etc., and if nothing else, listening to those CDs taught me to be calm and stick to the behavior. It may help for you to seek counseling if you've not already done so. Sometimes, it's teen depression manifesting itself in this way, but that coupled with substance abuse is a nightmare. Keep checking here, you'll get good advice.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Calamity Jane, post: 509250, member: 13882"] Dear 2Confused, Welcome. You probably feel you're the only one in the world who is going thru this. Sadly, none of our experiences are unique. This is a good place to come to get advice, read what others are going through, etc. Our son put us through hell since he was 16. My husband also traveled frequently for work, and I'd go to bed exhausted at 10PM. My son would leave our house as soon as I'd fall asleep and would come home some time near morning. If the police hadn't caught him, and brought him home, I wouldn't have even known it. I felt duped, shocked, conned, you name it. We found paraphernalia, and he really went off the deep end. Disrespected us, blamed us, kissed off curfew, lied, wow. Talking rationally and calmly didn't help. Going to a counselor didn't help, either. Mandated school counseling didn't help. What helped a little was the fact that once he reached the age of majority, 18, we turned all his problems back over to him. We will do anything to help, but only if he wants to help himself. He gets no money from us (we had to lock up our pocketbook and wallet, and get a house alarm, believe it or not). I actually sent away for a CD set called "The Total Transformation" program, and it really helped in how I spoke to my son. Kids are very clever at getting the conversation turned around to blame parents, etc., and if nothing else, listening to those CDs taught me to be calm and stick to the behavior. It may help for you to seek counseling if you've not already done so. Sometimes, it's teen depression manifesting itself in this way, but that coupled with substance abuse is a nightmare. Keep checking here, you'll get good advice. [/QUOTE]
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